Thank you, my limerent brain is an idiot, I will……..although before this limerence happened, we didn’t have much stress, and life was pretty good….. sure do have stress now though…….

Hi, Maureen-

Maybe read:
https://livingwithlimerence.com/2018/12/16/limerence-as-stress-relief/

Fellow Lim I have felt good now for over a week. I can’t actually believe it was possible. My thoughts have quietened down massively. I feel when I truly wanted to break free from LO and embrace the pain it doesn’t actually take as long as thought. I can’t say I’m indifferent but I don’t seek LO, indulge in fantasies and the anger is turning to more of an ‘oh well’ feeling. In starting to see it is his loss. The keep going no matter what is so important and this is etched in my mind. Going back is not an option any more.

This is really good advice Rachel, curiosity while limerent is not a good thing. It helps develop bad habits like checking up on LOs, following their social media accounts, even snooping on them. But these things keep us tied to them. We could either keep looking and continue to suffer or we can look away, wear virtual blinkers where we no longer see them or hear them. LC kept me in the vicious circle for four long years, 4 months NC stubbornly enforced has brought me peace of mind that has been missing for years. We just need to keep going no matter what.

Do it Maureen. It’s a very freeing moment. You are starting to take control of your life which feels good. Also just seeing then everyday hurts, also curiosity plays a part. But if you can, do it as it will start to free your mind.
Unfortunately I kept failing and ‘stalking’ his profile so I decided to do a digital detox and come off all social media for a month. Firstly it was so hard but I actually felt loads better by the end and didn’t really want to go back on. I was addicted to social media and I spent so much wasted time on there, also it was fueling the limerence. You can do it!

Hey Maureen,
So sorry about SO’s kidney failure…that is really tough to deal with I am sure.
Limerence usually flares up when we are most stressed…it’s our ‘escapism’. As far as social media, by all means continue to enjoy it, but perhaps just unfollow LO…so you don’t see what’s going on with him, and instead can focus your social media time on all your lovely friends and family. Let LO fade into oblivion so you can reclaim your life. It gets worse before it gets better, but then it gets much better. 🙂

Thank you Jaideux……you are right of course, I am certainly going to try, but of course like so much connected to limerence, it always seems easier said than done…social media is such a huge part of my life; it’s the only contact I have with my family, friends, and groups that I belong to…. I may have to start with smaller steps….especially when there’s other huge obstacles happening, such as SO kidney failure that we have to deal with…..too much all at once maybe….but in the end I’m sure you’re right….I am so thankful for your input, and all the advice in this group…..and just knowing that others habe been where I am, and have healed…

Hi Maureen,
Your comment broke my heart a little. My advice: if you really want to start healing and want to no longer crave the attentions or even mildest responses from your LO then…go no contact, and stop following any sort of social media. Do not allow yourself to have any online contact in any way. It will seem sooo excruciating at first, like you have sawn off a limb and are bleeding to death, but eventually things calm down and your broken heart starts to heal and your self respect returns, and things around you and people around you somehow become more beautiful and interesting and you will feel a tenderness in you toward them that you had momentarily lost. It’s well worth the pain, and the lessons one can extract in hindsight are multitudinous, and you are just going to have to trust me when I tell you that the paralyzing and fearful and tragic pseudo-romantic thoughts in your head will slowly wind down, like a spinning top that is losing momentum. But for me, that only started to happen after no contact, no social media. You can do it!