https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ftt4f2H3GDs

I debated where to put this one.

Moral of the story, there are some LOs you just can’t trust.

Haha! It’s just our addicted limerent brains that make normal people seem boring. We limerents are easily attracted by this kind of dysfunctional people despite our rational brains knowing it’s bad for us.

@Jaideux and @Jackson, I think pushiness to disclose feelings is a personality trait of a toxic person, not of an LO. For example, it’s very common for young people to develop LE for a teacher. Any decent teacher would never exploit that by pushing their student to disclose their feelings, they would be kind but maintain their professional boundaries and let the student deal with it on their own.
I have some LE for a man who I think might have made me his LO, I think this because of the somewhat frantic, clueless behaviour in someone who usually has his act together. It’s made me feel much more respectful and empathic for his feelings, I don’t want to exploit that.
I’ve thought a lot about what I’ve done to create that uncertainty in him. In my opinion, it’s because I’m very careful about who I let into my life. I need to know about the person’s emotional maturity, values, etc, before I get involved and risk becoming bonded to someone who turns out to be a very incompatible. Whereas, I suspect that in his relationship operating manual, you sleep with someone first and then figure out if you like them (which, considering he’s single, is generally no). I guess he may want me to chase after him, but as a female have big problems with that. I really feel stymied. I hope through 6 months NC, the ‘situation’ can become more clear, but I have no idea what will happen, and that feeds my LE.

I think you mean this one: https://livingwithlimerence.com/2018/10/26/narcissist-los/

Interestingly, another post inspired by one of your comments Jaideux! Keep those good ideas coming 🙂

Jackson I think there are cases of mutual limerence but more often than not LOs have a different craving at their core. They want to have power over us and are addicted to the unhealthy worshipful feeling we have for them. They don’t feel that way about us… there is a huge power imbalance.

Has anyone seen the Saturday Night Live skit that’s an advert for the perfume “Red Flag”? It’s just so hilarious.

Nina, Dr L has a topic here somewhere that says some LO’s like to test their “pulling powers” and maybe that’s what’s going on with your LO. (Does anybody remember which article it was? It’s the one with the pinnochio picture. A fabulous post).

Dr L, I never thought of that before! He actually shared very little info about her … I guess you never know! Since I am not a competitive person and especially will always back away from competing for a man, if that was his strategy it did indeed backfire! It’s just horrifying to me though that I was so besotted with a rather awful person. He and I had ever reducing contact over the years but I do know that he eventually went on to have a disastrously failed marriage and then remarried again … not sure of his situation now and nor do I care. Just so glad I’m not attached to him!!!!

I’ve tried to picture what my flailing attempts at, and occasional failures at, LC might look like to an LO who was themselves experiencing an LE for me in return (Note that I do not think that this is the case with my current LE/LO. At least, I don’t think it’s the most likely situation). In the context of non-disclosure, I’m thinking the intermittent attention, then disappearance, then sudden reappearance, etc… would cause some serious uncertainty in a mutual LE situation.

Would that we could actually talk about such things like rational adults, but “oh, hey, I’ve got a completely inappropriate obsession with you that I’m struggling to control” is going to be a social nightmare for a long time I think. I think it’s fairly common (I mean, look how many musicians write hit “love” songs about what is clearly limerent thinking when you start to dissect their lyrics), but very taboo.

“More evidence of dysfunctional behaviour.”

Isn’t it interesting how many really dysfunctional people tend to be so interesting to be around?

Normal people are boring??