There is closure when you decide it is over. It really comes down to that. Yes, there is closure. And there is a good life beyond limerence. Turns out you are a separate person after all with a separate life.

Nisor,

Sorry the clips weren’t what you looking for. I don’t remember any scenes in Kelly’s Heroes about throwing someone into a fire.

I did have a ritual of playing Burning Bridges three times when cutting someone off. It was reserved for people I got the idea who were screwing with me.

It was usually incremental. Do something that warranted it, play it once. Get to three and they’re gone. My now wife was on her last playing. She had broken two dates. If she’d broken a third, she’d have been gone.

There is a way to undo the ritual but either I’d have to set it up or it would take an Act of God.

LO #2 & LO 4 have been ritually dismissed. The ritual started with a girl in HS. I know there are a few more but I can’t remember who they are.

As for going into submarines, there were a number of reasons. My father and uncle were in the Navy in WWII. I was raised to believe we owe something to the society we live in. The Navy offered the widest variety of career options.

I didn’t want to fly. The surface fleet had gotten rid of what I thought were its coolest ships. I had read a lot about subs in WWII and really liked it.

I actually wanted to go into riverine warfare (i.e., the “brown water Navy”), PT boats, etc., but post Viet Nam that wasn’t an option.

Nuclear submarines at the time had the best advancement potential and post-Navy career opportunities. It also suited my “sneaky son-of- bitch” side. The Navy paid for college.

So, subs it was.

Thanks Limerent Emeritus.

All the scenes are great. Indeed this is one of the best war movies for all times! Love it.

Yeah, Donald Sutherland is as his best in this movie. The bum turned soldier…
“I only ride them, I don’t know what makes them work.” Superb! I can use that phrase for a lot of things I don’t know how they work since I’m not mechanically inclined… complete dumbo…

And the background music is excellent!

One question, what in the world made you become a submariner? A submarine idea gives me the shocks… closed in a capsule…

A B on military bearing is not bad. You seemed to be very witty with your answers…

The scenes are not what I wanted but still does the job.

Got to go, phone is kicking…

Have a great day and thanks again.

Nisor,

Here it is!

Best of Kelly’s Heroes:

Tanks Broken:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TzsNh3-FnHQ
True story: In the 80s, I was the Officer of the Deck on the sub. I was on the midwatch (0000-0600). We were boring holes in the ocean a few hundred feet down. There was nothing going on. A sailor asked me a question and before I could give him the answer, out came, “I only ride them, I don’t know what makes them work.” The skipper was standing behind me. He called me aside and ripped me up one side and down the other. Maybe that’s part of the reason I got a B in Military Bearing.

Burning Bridges:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9wIJr4iLgFA

The theme song that influenced my life though the 70s and 80s.

Something Righteous:

Tank Attack:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0WbWRkmCLY4

For those times when you just had enough of them.

Negative Waves:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ncbEucjsNFU

I love Donald Sutherland in this movie.

Missing the Action:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HdBrlYjJNAE

I just really like the scene.

I don’t know exactly what effect that you’re aiming for but I thought I’d toss this in.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QS27S3mspjU – Mountain Goats (2002)

“I hope I cut myself shaving tomorrow
I hope it bleeds all day long
Our friends say it’s darkest before the sun rises
We’re pretty sure they’re all wrong

Yes, Kelly’s Heroes.
Whenever you can.
No rush. Thanks

Do you mean “Kelly’s Heroes?”

I’m helping my daughter move this weekend but I’ll think about what I linked and post a few.

Give me a day or two.

Limerent Emeritus hi,

Can you do me a favor? I can’t find your post where you sent a clip with Hogans Heroes , taking that man by force and throwing him in the fire…. And referring to as how to get rid of LO. If you watched three times etc. For sure I want to do that! Also , I want to send it to my son, he’ll love it.

Thanks in advance.

Nisor.

Hi Mila,

Sorry if my previous message sounded like I was saying you’re demanding. I was just talking about myself, who is an introvert as well.

There is an idiom — “you can take a horse to river, but you can’t make it to drink water.” I’d apply this to any relationship that involves more than just myself. The aim is a dual harmonious and affected dual dance, especially in romance or substantial friendship. Points of views and personalities are secondary, able to coexist in peace.

With such a goal in mind, the vocabulary, “power” or “control” should ideally never and cannot have a place in an enduring romance/friendship. Neither side, while rehearsing and dancing together, should not feel more powerful or empowered, in control or being controlled. Otherwise, it does not feel good to either dancer and the dancing is doomed to fail, such as my own marriage.

“That’s why I feel sometimes empowered when I feel „this time I really want that to happen“ and do something about it, that’s why I suggested taking matters in hand for once. But I do understand if you don’t want to force it.”

No. I did not want to force or pressure LO to do anything; otherwise, I would feel awkward, manipulative, and ugly.

“Still, you seem to want a meeting for goodbye and some kind of closure, so why not nudge it a bit? If he can’t do it, he can say so.”

I already sent out the invitation without saying it’s a goodbye lunch (sounding sad). LO says he’d try to find time to do so before I leave in a month. But he had a habit of not keeping his evasive words or of changing his mind with some lame excuses, while I’m a woman of word.

I’ve set up the default on this situation — he’ll come up with an excuse not to do it. That’s okay. Again, I cannot force a horse to drink water. The phantom was always in my own head since young (as Nisor puts it), LO could wake IT up but is unable to kill IT no matter what he would (not) do….

I hope your meeting with LO next week goes well. Be prepared for any possibilities, so you wouldn’t get shocked or upset no matter what happens.

@Sammy,

I thought LwL is DrL’s rescuing airport, and he IS the ultimate director to guide its safety. If any posts of R-rated show up, his radar would pick them up.

But if you are the airport controller (your misinterpretations of my posts and your own words were unbelievable! Maybe it’s an Aspie thing beyond my comprehension…), on top of being a thought police particularly picking on my posts, then I’ll take my plane to land elsewhere. I would rather crash than being one of your “class act”…

Please don’t respond to any of my future posts!

Hi Snow,

I‘m a person who usually goes with the flow and leaves stuff to „fate“ or development of things, I‘m introvert and not at all demanding. That’s why I feel sometimes empowered when I feel „this time I really want that to happen“ and do something about it, that’s why I suggested taking matters in hand for once. But I do understand if you don’t want to force it.
Still, you seem to want a meeting for goodbye and some kind of closure, so why not nudge it a bit? If he can’t do it, he can say so.
But do it after your own instinct, you can judge the situation better.
And be aware of the fact that you can find peace and closure inside yourself without having this last encounter. It would just be a little outside help.

Yes, I try to stay in the mindset of „this has to end and good riddance if you leave“, and I’ll see how the meeting next week will go. I get this urge to talk about it and what’s between us and stuff, but I won’t because he‘s so uptight in these matters, I would be the one again who talks , and then it would be stupid to dig up stuff shortly before the end.