Comments on: Social media and limerence

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Wed, 27 Mar 2024 16:40:38 +0000

My LO is a nurse I worked with for 2 minor surgeries and I fell for her and having a hard time not thinking about her the last 4-5 months. We have no personal relationship due to the nurse-patient boundaries so is it a good thing that no contact is my only option? I did find her on social media so was able to look at a few pictures, but really no way to have contact with her unless i really tried, and it would probably scare her off because of our professional relationship. I am probably 25-30 years older so she wouldn’t be interested in me in a romantic way but I thought maybe a friendship, but is my best course of action to continue to go no contact to get her out of my mind?

By: A

Fri, 02 Feb 2024 20:05:56 +0000

In reply to Holly. Holly, you are a cheater and should confess to SO- ugh, that’s low

By: Speedwagon

Speedwagon — Thu, 20 Apr 2023 12:52:46 +0000

In reply to Emily. This happened to me with my LO. She was always at the top of the list and at the time I was purposefully staying away from her content. Was she viewing my content the most? I started to wonder all this as well and yes, it can drive you crazy. My LO and I are no longer connected on IG. I dropped her months back and then she dropped me a few months later.

By: Emily

Emily — Wed, 19 Apr 2023 20:06:18 +0000

In reply to Vincent.

Oh yeah, and don’t even go into why Instagram is just a perfect show piece to posture for LO.

One of the things about Instagram that drove me crazy what why my LO always showed up as the FIRST liker on any Instagram post he liked – he might not be the first person to like it, but the minute he did, he bumped right up to the first position so the notification says “LO and 7 others liked this”. What is the algorithm picking up??? He never posted on Insta, so it wasn’t that I was viewing any of his stuff, so the algorithm couldn’t be picking up on my lack of interaction with his non-existing material. Does that mean he’s looking at my stuff? More than anyone else? Is he “playing it cool” by not liking everything I post (but the algorithm can tell he’s looking at it more than anyone else)? Is he stalking me?

Social media can be simply crazy making.

By: Emily

Emily — Wed, 19 Apr 2023 19:55:14 +0000

In reply to Vincent.

“WhatsApp was the big problem for me. Those two ticks and the last seen… limerent’s nightmare!”

I just wanted to mention, I’ve noticed more and more people are rejigging their privacy settings so even if they have seen your message in WhatsApp it shows as two grey (rather than blue ticks). Soon, those ticks will be meaningless.

But the tricky limerent can still check on things like: timing of the LO’s “last seen” – just one minute after your last post or message. Our ability to create fodder is legion.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Tue, 16 Aug 2022 04:50:17 +0000

In reply to Jayne. I’m going through something similar, how this play out for you? This is excruciating

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Sat, 13 Aug 2022 23:36:37 +0000

Hello fellow limerents. Its funny, I just actually learned of this word a month ago and was so relieved to see something describe exactly what I was going through to a T. I have read all the comments and thought I would post to briefly describe my current LE and get some words or encouragement.
It started a few months ago. I want to be very vague here so lets just say I met my LO at a place I frequent and he helped me with something. Instantly there was the glimmer, he had texted me shortly after about “business stuff” which quickly became friendly because we bond on sports stuff, I am a huge fan and we both love the same teams. He then asked if we could be “friends”. Since I am married with a child I politely declined and that was the end of that, or so I though. A month later I went back in and we reconnected and the LE started back up again, except this time we took it a step further and started talking on the phone and things got sexual very quickly. Not physically but more telling each other our fantasies, sending pics,etc. I knew I was never going to actually cheat on my husband but I really welcomed this distraction as I am going through a very hard time in my life. He adored me and desired me and gave me so many compliments. I found myself getting dressed up to go into the place he works just so I could see him and he could see me and to stir up more desire for each other, he would even walk me to my car and we would hug for a long time. After knowing this wasn’t going to go anywhere and feeling guilty I texted him that we have to stop and I unfollowed him on social media and blocked his number. The following week I missed him and reached out again and he was very pissed off at me for doing what I did. To be honest, and I am not proud to admit this, but his pull back made him so much more enticing to me. I wanted him more this time. But we had a long phone conversation in which we both expressed our feelings for each other but agreed we can only be friends and want to be in each others lives and we wouldn’t play anymore games. I asked if we could follow each other again and he was being very standoffish, then he said last weekend if I send him pictures of myself he would add me again on social media, well I did, knowing that wasn’t a good idea. What I got the following day was a long text saying he doesn’t think we should follow each other and that he needs to focus on his wife and kids but that he still wants to be friends. We talked a lot about sports and then the conversation got sexual again on his side. I ended up texting him that this is very confusing for me and I felt taken advantage of because he said he would add me if I sent pics but he never did. I told him we should have no contact, and frankly I said that because I thought that would be like an ultimatum and he would chose to follow each other again, but instead he wrote back that it sounded good. We started to argue a little and then I saw that he blocked me completely from social media. I felt so heartbroken and devastated, its been three days and I still feel so much pain. I also feel crazy, like I have a wonderful husband and family, why am I seeking validation and love from this man I hardly know and really wouldn’t even want to be with in real life. Maybe its the fact that he had all the power at the end? I find myself now hoping he will change his mind and unblock me, or I am thinking of trying to look cute and go into his place of work so he can see me. Also our favorite team just started playing again and watching it reminds me of him and hurts so badly. I really feel like im going nuts here. Any words of wisdom? Help!

By: Eva

Eva — Sun, 29 May 2022 05:56:55 +0000

I could have written this post haha, I cant believe how accurate it is. Even before I read this I am no longer in social media and before I became familiar with limerence I always knew something was off. My LO never understood (neither do I) why I constantly deleted my account, unfollow her, didn’t respond to text messages, etc. I was just too anxious, I knew it was addictive for me and it was best for us but how do you explain that? She saw it as childish, as a a seek for attention and uncaring. And actually that’s what broke our friendship. She end up blocking me and the limerence got out of control. Sad

By: Smith

Smith — Thu, 15 Apr 2021 02:20:58 +0000

In reply to Scharnhorst. Thank you! The comments from you and others are nearly as helpful and informative as the Good Doctor L's posts!

By: Smith

Smith — Thu, 15 Apr 2021 02:20:06 +0000

In reply to Jaideux.

Thanks Jaideux! Just read this post:

https://livingwithlimerence.com/narcissist-los/

She was definitely the “I’ll keep you as backup” LO toward me, though I shouldn’t have allowed myself to be in that position to begin with.

I think my recent long-term LO is also a low-level covert narcissist. (Article: https://getpocket.com/explore/item/23-signs-you-re-secretly-a-narcissist-masquerading-as-a-sensitive-introvert) She always made a big to-do about what a quiet, sensitive introvert she was, but she sure seems to enjoy taking lots of selfies of her beautiful face and sharing them on social media. (She did some modeling when she was younger.) And she sure seemed to enjoy a decade of attention from me that definitely crossed boundaries for a co-worker without once complaining.

The LO’s mom friending me on Facebook right when the LO was experiencing a crisis in her marriage and then acting all coy about it being a “good sign” was another WTF moment.

And just to be clear: The problem was definitely my limerence for her. More than half, for sure. But I did everything but say “I love you” to her for years and she never protested or said “whoa there, boy.” And then she discarded me as a “friend” very, very quickly when someone else came along

That’s what’s really made me mad in the months since I quit drinking and started thinking clearly — she really wasn’t even a good friend to me.

OK, it’s getting late. Thanks again for the kind words, and glad to be joining this community.