Comments on: Using limerence for mood regulation

By: Julie

Julie — Sun, 28 Jan 2024 12:29:50 +0000

God I related to that so much !
I really link it with addiction pattern in my case. I used to smoke a lot. And everytime I feel unbalanced or sad or in a mad mood I seek this relief again.
I believe I am really over it now but I cannot be completely sure.
It’s actually even worse because in the case of substances even though you know it’s bad and so on, you DO have a soothing effect even if it’s very short. But with texting your LO, if he does not answer or answer very distant of just a word or 2 it’s actually worse and you don’t even have the short bliss moment.

By: Speedwagon

Speedwagon — Fri, 15 Dec 2023 03:54:53 +0000

In reply to Limerant in recovery.

This might help make that decision.

https://livingwithlimerence.com/im-totally-over-this-lets-go-for-coffee/

By: Limerent nurse

Limerent nurse — Thu, 14 Dec 2023 23:30:52 +0000

In reply to Limerant in recovery.

Limerent in recovery,

I recommend canceling because if you truly have limerence it will probably delay and set back your current recovery.

Good luck!

By: Limerant in recovery

Limerant in recovery — Thu, 14 Dec 2023 21:42:31 +0000

So .. had limerance for the first time for a co-worker. I have a SO. LO sat next to me for a year and nothing ever happened and it was difficult to know if she knew how I felt. LO then moved departments and I then resolved to go as good as NC. Whilst I have still thought about her daily the power she had over me was slightly reducing and I could feel emotional freedom returning. I’ve been under the cosh at work this week and broke NC (four months on) suggesting we meet for lunch next week. Should I cancel or just go through with the lunch in the hope it will not have a long lasting negative impact on me?

By: LimerentGal

LimerentGal — Sat, 24 Jun 2023 04:21:30 +0000

Heidi Priebe (one of her videos has been linked here by Dr L) just put up two days ago on Using Limerence as Self-Regulation:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y_jzKWiLdE0

By: frederico

frederico — Wed, 21 Jun 2023 16:37:15 +0000

In reply to LOstandsForLoneliness.

Good luck with your 10 days of no contact and counting. It sounds like a great start.

I hadn’t heard of HALT before and it could be a useful acronym. Your idea of writing a note on toilet paper and then flushing it made me smile.

My earlier “brilliant” idea of drafting and honing a message in iPad Notes, but not sending it, has backfired on me somewhat because, although it has felt cathartic, I still want to send it. I should perhaps post it on the site as a comment to empathise that it probably isn’t a good idea, or just delete it. The limerent brain seems to be quite sneaky.

By: LOstandsForLoneliness

LOstandsForLoneliness — Wed, 21 Jun 2023 16:11:21 +0000

In reply to ScotsGlimmerLass. I also used HALT yesterday. Was very lonely for LO and tired. Rather than messaging them, which was a thing we did a few times a day, I messaged myself a heart emoji. I also write to them on toilet paper and flush it. 10 days NC and counting!

By: Annie

Annie — Tue, 27 Dec 2022 01:17:14 +0000

What do you do when your LO is a new friend that you actually really love and admire? She is married to a man (25 years) and I am straight, and I developed this platonic crush on her which I disclosed to her, and she told me she feels the same way. Neither of us is interested in sex, but we feel romantic towards each other and sometimes hold hands. It’s very confusing and I feel like I want to be her partner, but obviously she already has one. Do I need to break off the friendship? That seems so extreme, but I’m having a hard time always thinking about her and missing her. Surely I can get this under control on my own?

By: TheHereafter

TheHereafter — Thu, 01 Dec 2022 00:12:29 +0000

Finding this site has been a God send. My story is the same as most:
* Unresolved issues in my marriage.
* Sexless marriage
* Stress in professional life
* Financial issues

Hence, I was ripe for Limerence. I met my LO searching for a sugar baby and/or started as an arrangement/mistress for pay (Glorified prostitution0. I graduated to this after the unfulfilling chase to ease pain through prostitutes.

Once my feelings for the LO grew unexpectedly. I was like “what is this?” She’s, in so many words a Prostitute. Yet I’m developing feelings.

Long story short Dr. Google led me to the Limerence channel and WOW. That’s me! This was a month ago. if nothing else, I know what I have now. That’s been comforting in and of itself!!

And, the more I research and study LE I’m almost convinced that my LO has been purposely and intently manipulating me into my limerence with all the classic signs of being my slot machine and jacking up my reward system; love bombing; unpredictable; etc..

But yes, my mood regulation is definitely the easy fix of illicit sex and chasing my LO. Now that the LO chase is more pain than pleasure I gotta get over this thing.

By: Sara

Sara — Wed, 29 Sep 2021 20:40:41 +0000

I do find limerence changes with my mood – if I’m anxious it’ll go round my head in a desperate loop. If I’m depressed all seems hopeless and that he’s the only one who can rescue me. If I’m relaxed it’s just there as a background disappointment. It’s been 8 months since I met LO and 7 months since I went NC. It seems to be gradually lessening, though can come back with a vengeance at times!