Ha,ha,ha, we could all start up a theatrical troop….First thank you for this Dr. L….I needed to read this right about now, after relapsing once again, and beginning to feel resigned that Limerence will be with me forever. I have a guitar that I need to learn to play, a keyboard that I need to find on line lessons for, not to mention assorted and sundry crafts to get back to….I must resolve to try harder to shake this ‘auto pilot fog’ and get busy doing something, anything……instead of wasting my all time on Social media, waiting for LO to come on line, I must do better, sigh.

🙂 Amen to that

46….still plenty of time to build a new life and live it.

Thank you Allie. I know I have a lot of work to do.
It’s like a have no frame no ground / bottom anymore everything is loose. At 46. 🙁
But than again I believe you all saying it will get better and we will come out stronger.

Definitely! While my current LE is rooted in genuine feelings for someone whom I would have had a relationship with were we both free, our circumstances and barriers have morphed those feelings into an addiction for sure. LO contact and rumination is my favourite drug right now…nothing feels better!
My previous LEs have been similar, though not as powerful. I am amazed I managed the first 13 years of my marriage without an LE…..I guess I was preoccupied with young children. I also started practising mindfulness 8 years ago which increased my ability to find happiness and contentment from the small and inconsequential moments in life, rather than depending on an LE.
Mia, it sounds like you could do with using your therapy to work out what you really want from life, and possibly also use it re-frame your expectations of relationships into something that will better support the life you decide you want. A re-programming of sorts. It may be that a good non-limerent relationship will work better for you? I have had both LE and non-LE long relationships and in the end, once the LE wears off, they are the same – the differences are due to the person not the presence or absence of an LE.

But it’s hard when you see them every day and they invite you round for lunch and coffee is etc. My SO He’s here now as well and LO wants to meet up all of us together And do things together.

Which all makes it very hard . So NC is certainly not possible and LC is hard.

Does sound tough @Kevin and I wonder if taking that job was the right thing to do? NC was going to be a lot easier when you were in different countries. Think you should really focus on your SO when she comes over and try to reduce contact with LO again. There must be lots of interesting and new things you can do with your SO in a new country. Try doing something exciting and fresh with her and see how it goes.

Still sounds like a great place to be Royce. Well done. I still remember you and I started similar journey st beginning of year. You have advanced well and the 6 month secondment will really help you.

As for me.
– I went LC Jan
– she left company end of jan
– feb was great. Was getting a bit better
– Mar and April was LC but I took a job in the same company as LO As was great opportunity. She started April I started May

– May we are spending a lot of time as nEw company in new country. SO coming mid June. Limerence is really effecting me this month

– June I find out she is close to another colleague from a job before we met. They are very close. She doesn’t know I know. So felt very down and jealous but will help me go back to LC again.

So as you can see a tough ride. We working in same company so hard. But trying. SO Comes next week so that will help.

Nothing has happend whilst me and Lo have been here. No reciprocation. And I have said no to some meet ups too. Learning about her being really close to somebody else really hit me hard

I wouldn’t say it’s a successful outcome yet Kevin, but it’s definite progress. I know the limerence is still there and am wary about it returning, but it’s much more under control now and normal(ish) life has resumed. There was a natural period of NC, of around a month, which I used as a catalyst for reducing my contact. Since then I’ve been quite disciplined and have not instigated contact with her so frequently. My busy work schedule has helped with this. She has a secondment of 6 months coming up soon that will present an opportunity for reducing contact some more. That should help too. How are things with you?