I had a similar experience. I inexplicably met and immediately fell into what I thought was love, but even at the time i recognised was infatuation. The limerance came from the fact she was not that into me, she was fresh from a broken relationship and soon went back to her ex. But I couldnt forget her for 2 full years. She didn’t reciprocate anything at all . Then after 2years wexwwre in contact again but by that time I had met a quite frankly much better looking, nicer, intelligent woman . My limerance came flooding back, i even considered leaving my much better partner for her. But almost immediately, as soon as she reciprocated, the limerance disappeared. Very quickly, i mean within a couple of weeks , my feel9ngs for my ex were gone and I quickly fell in love with my partner, we are still together. It feels like I suffered from an illness.

Oh yeah, I feel ya. I swap out older lo’s for younger, hotter more fit male lo’s every few years.

Thanks for all your comments and advice. While I do feel that my emotional attachment to her is waning, my sexual attraction is stronger than ever. I used to watch pornography regularly but after meeting her, I have not watched it since and actually watch videos of her when I do still have the urge. We have broken up more than 10x and gotten back together each time. We are currently broken up and she is packing up boxes, but I find myself feeling scared and wanting to work things out now that I see her actually leaving, even though I was the one who ended things again.

I must also add that it would be unfair to reconcile with your wife while you are still limerent for your LO. You will hurt everyone if you bounce indecisively between the two women.
If you decide that you do want your wife back, I would strongly advise that you need to leave LO and be on your own for while, with no LO contact. You need to prove to yourself and your wife that you are free of your LO emotionally before you can fully commit to your marriage.

Sorry you’re having a hard time at the moment, mate. I agree with all the advice Allie offers.

Also, referring to DR.L’s article above, here’s a question you might like to ask yourself: do you feel your limerent episode is already starting to decline?

Hi Desperate4help, and welcome to LwL.
Yes I’m afraid this does sound like limerence. The intense sexual attraction limerence generates wanes and dies over time. I married my LO 17 years ago so I have direct experience of this happening. We had a good attraction to begin with and it took 2 years for that limerent attraction to wane for me, another year before sex became “meh”, and another year or two until we mostly stopped bothering.
A good relationship needs much more than just sexual attraction to remain fulfilling over the long term. Do you have a common life vision with her? Can you see yourself and LO being good friends without the sexual attraction? Is she a good companion beyond sex and flirtation, someone you like talking to about anything, someone you trust to have your back, someone that would care for you if you became incapacitated long term? That is what real love is about.
Wishing you well.

After I stopped seeing LO1 it took about a year to stop obsessing about him and then kept thinking about him after that, but it gradually faded.