I sympathise deeply with this. It sounds like pure escapism that has turned rogue. The intrusive thoughts phase doesnt last, as long as you manage to distract yourself, even for tiny periods to begin with. I dont think that thisnis ridiculous at all. I understand why it might have happened. And I think everyone on this site can recognise themselves a little bit in what you are going through. Which is to say, go easy on yourself. This is horrid but it will pass if you manage to stretch out the moments when you are not ruminating or obsessing (it sounds as though you have got beyond the fantasising stage or maybe there is a little of that too?). Someone who shares your special interests can be alluring but this is probably just the limerence talking.
All the best to you. You are in good company here.

Oh Katharine, that sounds awful. Have you seen the LwL Resource page? You will find helpful information to get you through this difficult stage.

https://livingwithlimerence.com/resources/

Best wishes!

Emma, you could be right, I should start listening to my celebrity LO’s music again and see if I can transfer it back. Although that LE was debilitating and annoying its nothing compared to the hell I’ve been through with the real life LO.

Anna, I didn’t tell my husband either but my children noticed how much time I spent listening and watching celebrity LO’s music and used to tease me. I didn’t mind, but I’d never admit to SO the explicit fantasies I had in my head for celeb LO, he’d die of shock. Unfortunately I did fall for a school run dad when my celeb LE ended. I read the article that Scharnhorst posted, interesting read about the various levels of LE goes through. For the celebrity LO there obviously wasn’t any reciprocation so the LE lasted only 1 year. I joined a private fan group (there’s only 5 ladies) and there we discussed and shared our celebrity LO on a daily basis, it was very therapeutic and we shared some very intimate thoughts. Eventually I stopped listening and watching my celebrity LO’s music and the LE ended, but I am still very good cyber friends with the 5 other ladies. We send each other Christmas cards each year and recently one of them visited my country with her husband and we met and had lunch.
As for the real life LO, I had never met him before, I just noticed him parking his car in front of mine each day just before I went for my daily walks. We only exchanged eye contact, a smile and a quick wave for 1 year (I am friendly, I say hello to everyone) but there was no LE yet. I did find him physically attractive (trying to pin point what my catalyst was for limerence) and he’s my type, but up till that point I’ve never been interested in anyone other than my husband. It wasn’t till I was formally introduced to him by his SO (I knew his SO for 3 years but had no idea he was married to her) that I felt the glimmer, I felt butterflies when I shook his hand and the way he looked at me made my stomach do cartwheels. It was a very odd feeling. My tipping point into Limerence was his perceived interest, each time we were at the same event or I was talking to his SO he’d appear and seemed interested in what I was saying. This sent my mind into a cycle of rumination of does he/or doesn’t he which drove me bananas.
I got to know LO quite well as I was invited to join his social group, soon we saw each other almost every day. It didn’t matter where we sat, after about 30 min we’d end up next to each other engrossed in conversation, there were times when we were startled to find that we had talked for almost 2 hrs non stop, this happened quite often.
The “thing” that got me the most is his ability to talk and listen while maintaining constant eye contact, he never looked away, he’s an active listener. If he knew the fantasies spinning in my mind I swear he’d run away and never talk to me again.

DrL talked a little about celebrities in: https://livingwithlimerence.com/2017/02/27/do-they-like-me-too/

Sophie actually met some of her celebrity crushes.

Thank you so much for your reply! Thank goodness I’m not alone (although I’m sorry you live with this too). I don’t feel like Limerence for celebs seems to be covered enough and I can imagine anyone from the outside would think it was some silly crush. How insanely inexplicably painful it is to feel like your whole entire being craves, yearns for somebody you can never have or are even ever likely to meet! I’ve never discussed these feelings with my husband as I’m 100% sure he’d never accept or understand. Im trying to decide what is best, just to stop watching anything and hope the thoughts go away over time or to watch it as much as I can so I eventually get fed up or find fault in him. I know what you mean about the getting yourself together. I’m finding myself getting myself together, making more of effort with my appearance etc. I often live in fear that I’m going to have an LE over one of the school run dads or (we live near a building site) one of the workmen. I hate feeling like I’m living my life in fear over something I don’t feel I can control. I feel like in a way I’m subconsciously making more of an effort on myself so that hopefully I will get noticed if I have an LE. Which also make no sense to me as I’m happily married. It’s like a form of self sabotage almost x