Thank you for taking the time to read my story. It’s usually rum for me but i’m trying to stay off it as things are hard enough right now as it is.

It’s probably the most difficult situation i’ve ever been in. Seeing her, hearing her voice, even just seeing her name at work triggers pain within me. I do my best to hide it and confide in those i trust, but i have an expressive face and she’s always watching me when i’m in the same room. When she talks to me, i can barely look her in the eye. I do my best to be professional and do what i’m asked without issue.

I agree that NC is definitely the best option. I’m also doing limited contact as i don’t have a choice, but as long as there is contact, there will be triggers and i feel i can never truly move on. NC is definitely the best option, which means leaving my job and people i love working with. This job really helped me and they’ve been good to me.

I hope you find peace one day. It’s a constant struggle but hopefully time and perspective will make things better for both of us.

I totally understand what you mean. How i fell this far is beyond me. I’ve tried to put my foot down so many times but i just can’t get her out of my head, she always wins in the end. I had a really painful breakup with a woman with BPD before i started this job, so i suspect the limerence has everything to do with that. The overwhelming loneliness i felt in the aftermath. It comes back every time i feel rejected by my LO.

I’m just taking things day by day right now trying to pick myself up and practice mindfulness while i wait for the anti-depressants to start working. But the thought of going back to work in a couple weeks and potentially seeing her again makes me feel sick in my stomach. I’m already struggling to eat as it is.

Ross, I now seem to be a lwl veteran and tonight I have had a couple of (maybe limerence related) whiskies so this will be short.

Reading your post, your experience felt so raw, so very moving; I think I can honestly promise that things will get better – they really will. You are not alone, definitely not.

Work related complications – awful – there are one or two regulars here who will empathise. Ghosting – being ghosted – I think that’s a dreadful thing to happen. LO becoming your boss – to me that sounds like a considerable challenge.

I have read your harrowing account very carefully. This is just my opinion. Anti-depressants may have their place – but short term.

I have been limerent for nearly four years. It’s tough. I’m trying a Limited Contact strategy. It may not be the best option. I don’t know. The best option is, I think, No Contact. It’s also tough, very tough indeed but time will heal, I feel sure.

With much love,

f

Thank you for sharing Ross. It is true that an LO will drive us to mood swings and feelings we never knew were within us and yes, even cause severe depression. Which I believe I’ve fallen into. Almost by accident because I never thought feelings for my LO would intensify to the level they have.

Good luck with the NC if you can handle it. Just keep telling yourself you won’t be better off keeping tabs on LO. It’s hard I know though. I want to be with my LO in an insane crazy way too, but I’m pretty sure she has an SO and I just misread her signals.

She got promoted at the start of this year so now she is my boss, and she started being more consistent with me. Seemed like a good sign. But then one day she called me pal. That one word brought my whole word down. I went on tinder and saw her on it with a blacked out pic and no bio, just her spotify. So i thought she was looking for me, which sent me down an unhealthy rabbit hole of keeping tabs on when she was online. At first it was just once or twice a week. But a couple months ago she was online constantly all day and night and i realised she had found someone. I was heartbroken but realised i had to end it, so much so that when i next saw her at work for a review, i ended up telling her how i felt and let it all out (left the tinder part out). I could tell she got uncomfortable and she didn’t want to acknowledge or take any responsibility for her previous actions. She’s a very guarded person and seems like she has been hurt bad in the past. It wasn’t confrontational or anything but things got awkward after that. I avoid her as best i can when we’re not working in the same room, but when we are, i keep it professional and don’t initiate any conversation. If she does, then i keep it short without being rude. It’s torture. I can tell she feels uncomfortable but at the same time she still tries to make an effort with me at times but will abruptly stop and turn her attention to others. She’s mostly cold towards me now, doesn’t flirt anymore or go out her way to say hi. It makes me feel like such a creep.

Last week we were finishing at the same time and i saw a guy who had a lot of similarities to me waiting outside, my brain went into overdrive and immediately assumed he’s waiting for her. But i didn’t hang around to find out. I went straight to the pub and drank myself stupid. The next couple days i saw her, she was wearing make up (which she rarely does) and was really happy talking to people, but still cold to me. She came in 30mins before she was due to start and i was about to finish, it was like she wanted me to see her like that as she didn’t need to be there and usually comes in when she’s due to clock in. I’ve been a wreck ever since. I didn’t react or show emotion. But i had been drinking after work all week trying to get her being with him out of my mind. I’ve been put on anti depressants now and have 2 weeks sick notice. Trying to go NC but the urge to check tinder to see if she’s still active is a daily struggle, i won’t get any closure from it, it will just hurt me more but my limerence is desperate for a hit. I tell myself maybe he was just some guy waiting on his friend, but my instincts tell me otherwise. I hate feeling this way. I’ve never done anything like this before, but i just wanted to be with her so bad that my self respect went out the window a long time ago.

Anyway, sorry for the rant, i had to share my story with people who can relate and felt this was the right place. I’m coming to learn a lot about myself through all this. That i have some unhealed trauma that seriously needs addressed.

When I dropped the dime on LO #2, I didn’t tell her that I didn’t love her anymore.

I told her that I didn’t trust her anymore.

Hi Jane,

I agree with Mila.

Where there’s not trust love cannot thrive. You have an ocean of love to give whereas he only has a cup to receive it. It really feels like a funeral, burying your love and taking the loss; but it doesn’t have to be that way, you can save that love as a treasure to give to someone else that can reciprocate equally. Open the wings of freedom and let go of those who only hurt you, you deserve better. Someone new will come to fill in the empty space in your heart. I figuring out you’re single? and him?

Good luck and best wishes.

I feel for you Jane. Burying love feels wrong. I have no solution to this because I‘m struggling myself, but-

Don’t stalk him again, you‘ll only be in more pain. You have to move on.
This love of yours belongs to you alone, it‘s in your body and soul, it‘s probably a beautiful thing, but he hasn‘t got much to do with it.
He doesn’t want it and need it, he will only use it to hurt you more, I guess, maybe not on purpose but simply because he cannot match it.
So there‘s no use in stalking and reaching out to him.

2 years ago I found out my wife of 12
Years with 2 kids (one was 5 and one 1 year old. Cheated on me.
She felt sorry…

Instead of working out our marriage
I developed addiction to a LO
I LEFT MY WIFE AND KIDS AND MARRIED THE LO

My LO marriage is going very bad.
I dream about my kids and sometimes my ex ….
And how I hurt her.
My ex not allowing me to see my 2 sons and I understand her.
My family hates my ex for not allowing me to see the kids..
Not sure what to do