Hi Kennedy,
I also have had anxiety and even panic attacks over the years. I’m 65 and things have settled down a bit over time and with some self-care management, healthy diet, therapy (Cognitive Behavior Therapy) and lots and lots of exercise. (Lee was on to something I think when she suggested it to you above.) However, in my experience a new LE can throw the baby and the wash water and the tub all to the side because once I “discover” a new LO then my life becomes an emotional roller coaster and all of the self help in the world appears to go down the drain. And oh yes, I understand the stalking online, so easy to do at the click of a mouse or tap of the finger and you have all kinds of info to feed the adrenaline and dopamine high. So I’m with you on all of that. And the guilt and embarrassment (is that the same as shame?) starts to take over and then I’m trying to figure out ways to get out of the loop-de-loop. I’m currently in a long distance LE experience and slowly taking baby steps to tear the hinge off of the door that keeps me adhered to this man. And I’ve started reading and writing replies on this website that seems to help take my mind off of the obvious. I’m also writing in a journal frequently about all my feelings and working to purge some of the stuff inside of me. Well, I only wanted to say I understand and please think about what Dr. L wrote on here as advice or suggestions to help you along.

“…I’m able to view them with a certain amount of detachment.”

All women? I can see where you want to stay away from the potential LO’s hovering around but surely not all women take you to such a painful level. Can you start by only looking at women as potential friends and letting the rest of the cocktail(so to speak) get drunk by someone else? There are all kinds of women out there. I hope you can find some of the good ones. At least one. That’s really all you need.

I got limerent again last year, too – actually while I started reading this blog and yet unwilling to stop it by myself 🙂 🙂 🙂

I’m seeing limerence as a psychological defense mechanism that kicks in when everything kinda sucks: My job sucked, my relationship had issues and living in my country sucked due to covid restrictions. Instead of getting all depressed and anxious, I’m getting manic energy that drives me away from what sucks and towards something that might be better.

But just as Dr L writes – yielding to limerence is rarely the solution (unless both a single + it’s reciprocal), instead we need to live truthfully and purposefully + face the problems heads on.

Update: I had another limerent episode (luckily not a fully blown limerent experience) and got diagnosed with type 1 bipolar disorder.

The atypical antipsychotic that my psychiatrist prescribed to me really helped to get out of the dysphoric mania (aka: limerent devaluation).

I still don’t think that limerence is necessarily a sign of a mental illness. But I’ve heard about it frequently enough in the context of OCD, (C)PTSD, schizophrenia and bipolar disorder that I’d recommend getting professional help.

So limerence can be a symptom of an underlying mental illness. Maybe it could also lead to the development of a mental illness, if it’s really bad and remains untreated.

1800 to 3000mg of NAC daily really helps the ruminative loop patterns of the mind. Check out the case studies online of NAC for OCD

I think you have found the answer as to why the world is suffering greater amounts of anxiety.
When DnD was trapping the unconsciously susceptible individual into a world of vitamin D deficiencies bad costume rashes, it didn’t have other options, now high tec has landed, it’s left all our damaged DnD dunces on the edge of reality.
If you think about it…. the timing makes sense.

Having read a lot of this blog while processing my so far only experience of limerence from 2013/14, I agree. I didn’t have any childhood trauma, was raised in a loving and intact family and apart from some severe anxiety as a result of the limerence, I’ve never had any psychological problems before and after.

My LO wasn’t bad or manipulative in any way – she was an amazing best friend and a very attractive woman, most likely a perfect match for me, just a bit out of my league. The limerence didn’t come out of nowhere – she made a very strong gesture after which it became fully blown. The „energy boost” that I got from the limerence + also dating another woman definitely increased my odds, but it wasn’t enough.

Especially considering the stats from „How common is limerence?“ (https://livingwithlimerence.com/how-common-is-limerence/), it seems to me that especially people with a INF personality who kinda yearn for a very close soulmate-like romantic connection would develop limerence as a normal part of growing up and falling in love.

At least I’m INFJ myself and both of my two long-term relationships were with an INFP who also experienced limerence when they were younger.