Hi Malibu,

It’s so sad when it all ends. Just keep the good memories in your heart. It’s the only consolation one gets from limerence, ah, and the grief, of course. Indeed , grief is love with no where to go; but if you have an SO , why not try to divert some love to her?

Best wishes and lots of courage.

Indeed we are. There’s only one and she’s mine. Well, I think she’s mine because sometimes I’m not sure if she’s thinks I’m hers……and around and around we go.

Limerance comes from an imprinting reflex that occurs at the beginning of relationships, a good and meaningful adaptation which keeps someone from leaving their mate to the wolves at the first inconvenience. This sort of imprinting is well known between mother and child, but the same thing happens between lovers. It’s known by various names, twitterpation, limerance, whatever. It’s not a disease to be cured until it goes too far and becomes unhealthy. You need to understand where this is coming from, why it was evolve, and when it’s healthy before you go demonizing it – or else people will become so afraid of being attached to each other that they’ll push away a perfectly natural emotion, questioning their sanity, till they eventually just decide to give up on emotions and attachment altogether.

Which leads us to hook up culture and porn. What I’m trying to say, is that you’re encouraging the very thing you hate and don’t even realize it.

Fred hi,

I’m happy for you, that you can get to that level of revelation of the reality of your LO. “ She seemed flawed and not appealing as before.” That’s good news for the rest of limerents, like me.

I wish I could have that moment of “sobriety “ with my lo .But I’m not anywhere near him to have an encounter ,and get that “lucidity “, nor will I ever see him again; we are continents apart…
I have thought before, that if I just saw lo one more time, after fifty years of not seeing him, I’d probably be disappointed in him and start my way to free myself of this limerence.

But you know, it wasn’t anything he said or did that draw LO near to me, it was that special way he made me feel in my heart. So I wonder if I could ever erase it from my heart and soul.

Just dreaming of that day when you become free at last ! It has to come, I don’t know how but it will!

Yes, an addiction to a delusion of love that you don’t recognize is a delusion until you have moments of “sobriety” and then it’s a “what the hell am I doing” moment. My LE is fading away and I was next to my LO last night and thought that she had changed in some way. That giddy buzz of limerence was barely there. She seemed flawed and not as appealing as before. Gee, sounds like a regular human being. I mourn her loss, but “she” was never fully there.

I feel your pain Fred. Sobbing and bawling like a baby is a daily ritual for me because my LO is basically unavailable as well. Sometimes it goes on for hours. Sometimes it’s therapeutic I think. Other times, I just tire of being sad about it all the time.

Fred,

Are we talking the Manic Pixie Dream Girl?

The root of ALL anxieties (at least 20 specific types) is Fear — fear of ending (figurative death), loss, and that ultimate Death that makes whatever we have enjoyed or suffered just like a series of Dreams…

Do we limerents in LE feel we have a control in this episode of dream?

But every dream has its ending as the Sun rises each day….

I’d argue that limerent love is the most powerful “drug” out there.