In my case the negative associations come involuntarily. My LO had a new LO (first denied it and made me believe I am crazy, then when it didn’t work out cried his heart out to me) I have seen some very visual texts she sent him of what she wants to do with him (as in “look, I didn’t imagine it, she was interested in me at some point”). So everytime my LO is in my head now, she pops up and enters the scene and ruins it and ruins my mood. I guess even if that image is not wanted by me, I should build on that.
LO once said that he hates that “this girl cost him so much” aka losing me as a friend. Well, I hope she was worth it as the price was indeed high.

Excellent ideas, I should try too! I’m still a bit loving my sweet daydreams though… Life seems so tasteless without.
What works quite well for me is dwelling on LO’s defects, or to say it less negatively, to focus a who he really is without my idealizations. He has some character traits which I don’t like much, I try to keep them in mind. Or even just to see the situation with objectivity, you know, I’m married, he has an SO too, it’s all just in my head, if there was any reciprocation from his side I would know by now, etc.

Bert that is brilliant! I’m going to try it! Shred those memories!! Hug that wire!

 Jaideux, I have the same issues, and agree with you. I wrote this to Dr. L just the other day when providing feedback for the Emergency Deprogramming course:
I have not succeeded very well at the extinction reprogramming. The best I could do is whenever I absented mindedly start conjuring up an image of LO, I turn on a shredder, like the Banksy frame at the Sotheby auction sale of his famous painting Girl with Balloon (as soon as it sold it automatically shredded!) Or when meandering back to a memory of long hugs with LO, I would redirect to hugging a bundle of tangled barb wire. Ouch! I sometimes imagine the sound of the shredder and that is sufficient to snap me back. Rrrruh rrrruh rrrruh. Hey if a bell worked for Pavlov’s dogs…
Lots of negativity for aversion therapy but not devaluing anyone. Not sure if this is the best tactic, but it seems to be helping.

Hi Jo,
I wonder if you are still checking out the site and if you are, how is your visualization therapy going? Are you limerence free? I would love to hear more from the commentariat on this topic…with our rich limerent imaginations it seems a very useful tool.
I think as Dr L. says the dwelling on the defects (although it’s truly out of character for me to do that with anyone) is a necessary evil as well. I have to keep reminding myself to do that as I hate negativity so much I default to dwelling on the positives in people (especially LO’s).
Anyone out there wanting to weigh in?