As an ESL speaker, I’m trying to figure out 🧐 in what courteous manner these words are phrased under the light of disagreement or in the spirit of friendship or good faith….

*****
“I have no interest in helping you
write Godawful purple prose
your father issues are disturbing
act like a little girl
distasteful in the extreme
uninterested in babysitting you
Ingratitude or angry rants or (deeply repulsive but also hilarious)
“adult temper tantrums”
Oh you poor sweet thing
bogeywomen living in your own head.
manifestations of your own guilty conscience
in an astonishingly childish way
the poor soul
suffering from some form of paranoia
have zero interest in your fantasies
perceiving malice
why I even talk to you
This is a disgusting insinuation on the part of you
The reason I find you irritating…”
******

Gabriela Mistral
1889 –1957

translated from the Spanish by Ursula K. Le Guin

Life of my life, what you loved I sing.
If you’re near, if you’re listening,
remembering earth, in the evening,
my life, my shadow, hear me sing.

Life of my life, I can’t be still.
What is a story we never tell?
How can you find me unless I call?

Life of my life, I haven’t changed,
not turned aside and not estranged.
Come to me as the shadows grow long,
come, life of my life, if you know the song
you used to know, if you know my name.
I and the song are still the same.

Beyond time or place I keep the faith.
Follow a path or follow no path,
don’t fear the night or the rainy wind.
call me to come to you, now at the end,
and come to me, soul of my soul, my friend.

Canto Que Amabas

Yo canto lo que tú amabas, vida mía,
por si te acercas y escuchas, vida mía,
por si te acuerdas del mundo que viviste,
al atardecer yo canto, sombra mía.

Yo no quiero enmudecer, vida mía.
¿Cómo sin mi grito fiel me hallarías?
¿Cuál señal, cuál me declara, vida mía?

Soy la misma que fue tuya, vida mía.
Ni lenta ni trascordada ni perdida.
Acude al anochecer, vida mía;
ven recordando un canto, vida mía,
si la canción reconoces de aprendida
y si mi nombre recuerdas todavía.

Te espero sin plazo ni tiempo.
No temas noche, neblina ni aguacero.
Acude con sendero o sin sendero.
Llámame a donde tú eres, alma mía,
0201y marcha recto hacia mí, compañero.

LiS PR Team,

Please make sure you let Mr. Space know the Community of MJ (Not Michael Jordan) wishes him well and that he has an enjoyable day with his Family.

We also hope that it will not be the end of his tenure here with his beloved Lwl Community Brethren.

Please send our sincerest best wishes..

Lost in Space,
Neat!
😘(not meant in a flirtatious manner, of course.)

Lost in Space could not be reached for comment, but a spokesperson for the troubled writer released a statement that was prepared earlier this morning:

“Lost in Space would strongly prefer not to relive nor relitigate the events from July 2023, known commonly as Glimmer-Blog-Gate, as this represents a painful and confusing time in his life that he would like to leave behind. He feels regret for many of his words and actions around that time period, and feels badly about the rift in the LwL community that he inadvertently triggered. He notes that he made several changes to his own activities on LwL since that time – he no longer greets new posters to the site, he generally refrains from giving advice or interacting with others except in limited circumstances (basically adopting a ‘speak only when spoken to’ approach to other community members), and is doing his best to avoid any hint of flirtatiousness with any of the LwL ladies.

Mr. Space recognizes that his own life choices and decisions are sometimes at odds with the underlying ethos of this website. He does not wish to come across as disrespectful nor as undermining the incredible work of Dr. L, nor does he ever wish to hinder anyone else’s recovery or lead anyone astray. He does not wish to glamorize or glorify his own choices, and he hopes that if anything, his story will serve as a cautionary tale to anyone who is considering following in his footsteps towards disclosing their feelings and starting an EA. It should be abundantly clear from his posts that such choices do NOT lead to peace and contentment and in fact lead to significant levels of ongoing turmoil and emotional distress. The astute reader will, in fact, note that many other posters who started writing on LwL around the same time as Mr. Space who did follow the advice laid out by Dr. L have seen significant improvement or even resolution of their limerence, while Mr. Space continues to remain stuck in limerence.

Lost in Space does find tremendous value in this website and this online community, and is very grateful for it’s existence. It has helped him immensely to understand the often overwhelming feelings that he’s experienced repeatedly throughout his life, and to at least be able to make decisions about his life from a more informed position. He credits LwL to a significant extent with keeping his less acceptable impulses and desires in check, and believes that without the support of this community he might now be involved in a PA, going through a divorce, or worse.

Finally, Lost in Space believes that life is too short to spend too much time and energy on online kerfuffles. He wishes well to everyone who is part of this community, and personally he plans to spend the day playing outside with his kids and also plans to call his mom today.”

Mila,

No need to thank me. I just wanted and needed to speak up my mind…

As mentioned before, I came to LwL to find out what Limerence is and why I had suffered it several times. I also use it to strengthen my guts to loudly voice (my oppressive COO took it away); I use it as to practice my Stoicism and Buddhism daily; I use it as an accompany for my individuation process, shamelessly showing both my shadows and lights; I use it to battle my depression and boredom; I use it to discuss or debate with fellow limerents about much broader topics in life; I use it to figure out how I could cultivete my own purposeful living, if it’s feasible in some small, concrete ways; I even use it to practice my creative writing while inspired.

I would never pompously advise, arrogantly judge, or robotically censure any other posters. I’d just speak up my own felt and lived experiences, thoughts, and sentiments… mostly LE related.

DrL: if you think any of my goals is inappropriate here in LwL, please let me know, thanks. Thank you again for your invaluable site.

Typo: “However, it’s not exclusive. If we need to understand limerence and its possible “infinite” intricate causes through specific cases, how could anyone or sufferers themselves ever tackle at its roots and possible reducing removing methods?”

Correction: “ However, it’s not exclusive. If we are not even knowledgeable/aware of limerence with its different, intricate phenomena and (un)explainable causes through specific individual cases, how could anyone or sufferers themselves ever tackle at its roots and possible reducing removing methods? Also, being informed by and thinking about others’ ‘relevant” cases, could stimulate/promote one’s self-examination about his/her own LEs: are they different, similar, why, how, my personality, their characteristics, etc, etc.? Such self-exploring and discovering process is very therapeutic, definitely could help some limerents know and understand themselves better.

Thanks Snow,
I bet there are a hundred different opinions on this matter and on this site too, but what really does interest me is, how are you?
Did you have a nice party and how are you coping with these last days?

Mila,

I totally second almost everything you’ve said here.

You’re not enabler to LiS’s stand, but a kindred spirit that has profound compassion for him and other suffering/struggling human souls here in LwL… I respect and love your amazing understanding ability, although it’s impossible to totally empathize with another. You’re a good buddhist on this without consciously knowing or admitting you are one.

As you say, exuding morality hammer, social isolation/abandonment, or tough love, would not help those suffering human souls (me included). What works for one person may never work for another.

8 billion human beings are not limited to 16 MBTI types, the complexity of human natures, continuous evolving, might be near infinite. How on earth could one scientific or spiritual mind evaluate people based on 16 types? Based on sub-blogs/topic Dr L has opened up, I do not think Dr L can be strictly catalogued into a INFJ type… his feature articles show deep compassion and empathy for human innate natures, as well as for limerents’ puzzlingly complex characters, while promoting primary aims/goals for a purposeful living.

However, it’s not exclusive. If we need to understand limerence and its possible “infinite” intricate causes through specific cases, how could anyone or sufferers themselves ever tackle at its roots and possible reducing removing methods?

Moreover, DrL does not want echoing chambers, which would allow all sorts of stands and takes in/related to the matter of limerence, which is highly intricate due to its vast (un)explainable roots. It’s like dealing with chemical substance addictions which are never merely for fun. Limerence is directly related to subconscious pair-bonding instinctual drives, probably 1000 times more potent than other type of addictions, one can never underestimate its power and simply police its presence in an open-minded, public domain.

I think this website is named, “Live with Limerence”, not “Getting Rid of Limerence”. Some of us may live with our limerence for life, so let them do, with our understandings. After all, no one has committed legal crimes here.

Mila, I agree with you that no one here is promoting PA/EA, but mainly presenting their cases honestly and bravely, submitting themselves to possible public verbal butchering…

Dr L, LwL is not a morality “chapping board”, right?

Mila, sorry didn’t mean you explicitly, I was just thinking of the aspects and considerations of commenting on LwL (in response to Sammy’s post). And this was one of them… and yes, this happens. I’ve been here a bit longer time. And I’m not great with conflict, maybe like DrL ( if Sammy’s assumption of DrL is indeed correct)
I agree that there is no obligations or commitment here we can come and go as we wish.
As for LiS, I think he has had a few declarations of love on LwL 😉 actually because he is naturally charming, intuitive and has such a great way with words. I’ve told him several times he should do a blog or write a book or something similar, as I think he could add value to lots of people.