Comments on: The beginning

By: Peter

Peter — Sat, 30 Sep 2023 19:45:04 +0000

I feel like being ill for 13 years with nobody being able to diagnose me, and now I finally know, at least I know what is the issue. It is a great relief, although I am also terrified by the fact, that this is just a diagnosis and the healing process is going to be very long and far from pain free. But relief it is and I am tremendously grateful to you Dr. L.

By: Healing

Healing — Mon, 21 Aug 2023 06:06:47 +0000

Wow. I am so grateful I found this website. My life has been filled with limerence since the 4th grade. When I first learned of limerence I made a list of all my LOs. It all made so much sense and also broke my heart. I’m in withdrawal right now from my most recent LO. When I read Love and Limerence in 2018/2019 I really thought I was done having LOs. Facing it all dead on was really powerful and I felt that all the drama in my mind lost its potency. I thought I was healed. But earlier this summer I was completely humbled by and incredibly intense limerent episode that took me completely by surpirse. Of course it did. Good lord I still have so much to learn. I was around this person almost every day for 2 solid weeks with nothing. And then it happened. A glimmer. A few of them. And within a couple days I was in BIG TROUBLE. And also ELATED and HIGH AS A KITE. I was at 100% for probably 6 weeks. The last couple have been more like 20-30%. Some days more. I find myself forgetting (LO lives somewhere else and the job is now over now so I don’t see them anymore) and then I feel sad that I forgot and I find myself seeking out triggers so I can feel the high/comfort again. Ohhhhhhhhh it’s exhausting. I’m so glad I’m not alone. Going to work my way through these archives now. Thank you for the vent.

By: MJ

MJ — Wed, 26 Jul 2023 00:34:27 +0000

In reply to Limerick. Hi Linerick, I'm MJ. Glad you found us. Hope you have a lot of time to read. It will probably take you awhile. See you in the forum..

By: Limerick

Limerick — Tue, 25 Jul 2023 23:36:36 +0000

Hi! Elated to have found your blog. Now planning to read it from beginning to end, as well as Dorothy Tennov’s book and your ebook.

By: Mehg

Mehg — Sat, 24 Apr 2021 08:01:46 +0000

“…the tragedy of two tribes forever doomed to misunderstand one anothers’ motives and drives”

Powerful.

I have so much to learn and I think there is no better place to begin, than the beginning.

Thank you for what you’re doing here. The relief of finding information backed by science: finally! This helps.

By: Mary

Mary — Mon, 13 Jul 2020 21:09:04 +0000

I realize this comes a bit late, but I just discovered your website recently and boy is it great to know that I’m not alone. Just some pathetic emotionally unstable lovesick weirdo. The first time I heard about limerence was a couple years ago. I was sitting in a waiting room while my daughter was in a therapy session, just dicking around online as usual. When I came across a site that introdduced me to limerence and described what it actually is, I knew with every fiber of my being that that’s what I was experiencing. I sat there in the waiting room with tears running down my face as I thought about everything. How my brain had been playing tricks on me my whole life. How my current L O wasn’t actually this awesome person I believed him to be. That was by far the most mind-blowing and hard to swallow pill I’ve ever encountered. But I’m glad I found out, no matter how harsh the disillusioning. Right away I ordered Dorothy’s book and read it cover-to-cover. Even with all my knowledge I still chose to stay in limerence with my current LO for quite a while and am still recovering.
If I may, I’d like to share something that has helped me recently. I sat down with a journal and made a timeline of my life and mapped out how many LOs I’ve had in my lifetime going all the way back to middle school where it all started. I have had 10! I made a list of all of them and then wrote down some questions, then wrote down answers to each one as it applies to each of my LOs. I really took some time to think about my answers. It’s a bit time-consuming and maybe you have to enjoy journaling in the first place, as I do. But for me at least, it was extremely helpful with current LO and putting things into perspective. And I thought, maybe it can help someone else. The questions I asked myself were:
1. How long did this LE last?
2. What ended this LE?
3. Do you still have contact with this person, and what is your relationship like now?
4. How intense was it? What do you think specifically contributed to the intensity or lack thereof?

I’m sure I could think of more, and others could think up their own self-evaluation-promoting questions as well.

The other thing that helped me immensely was a lot of prayer. I remember praying to not be tempted beyond what I’m able to bear during a few rare moments of clarity amidst the throes of LE intoxication. And it seemed like every time LO & I had an opportunity for some intamacy, something or someone would come in and interupt. Thanks God!!

By: Lifelong Limerent

Lifelong Limerent — Tue, 10 Dec 2019 01:33:08 +0000

Thank you so much for making this blog DrLimerence!

I have had 10 LE’s in the past 12 years. The first of those being my wife. When we met, the friend we met through told her “He’s a hopeless romantic. He will keep falling in love and break your heart”. Well, she was half right and hopefully I can make her all wrong.

I had begun to believe this was my albatross – to fall for someone in each new job I take up. It is incredible that you have given so many people this resource.

I am about to become a father and look forward to re-energising the relationship with my wife and to make a stable home for my child with no intrusive thoughts of LO.

By: drlimerence

drlimerence — Sun, 16 Jun 2019 16:07:00 +0000

In reply to WandA.

Hi WandA and welcome. It’s tough when the LO is hard to get away from. One advantage of finding a virtual community like this, is the realisation that limerence is something that happens inside us, and is not due to the magical specialness of our LOs. All these people all around the world are having a similar experience, because it’s neuroscience, fundamentally.

Once you set your mind to new and better goals, to new sources of happiness, then the power of LO should recede. Welcome again, and I hope we can help fortify your spirits!

By: Miau

Miau — Sun, 16 Jun 2019 10:34:54 +0000

Thank you for doing this.
I read everything from beginning to end and this is truly the best and most accessible (from an empathy, used language and self-awareness perspective) resource I have found so far.
I just found out about limerence and how it relates to me and it has also shed some light into past experiences.

I am having one heck of an LE at the moment and I have to say, reading all this has certainly mellowed down the experience. At least it has helped me rationalise it and it doesn’t feel so … let’s call it: supernatural, otherworldly, overpowering, all consuming.
I think giving this situation a name and understanding it acts kind of like a newly discovered volume knob: While the music is still playing, I can at least try control the volume a bit because I am now, in parts thanks to you and this site, aware that it is not just random music magically put in my life, there is a radio that the music is coming from and that it has buttons and knobs and I am not entirely at the dismay of the music.

By: WandA

WandA — Sat, 15 Jun 2019 09:41:52 +0000

Joining in to hopefully completely kill this thing and let it die. I doing better than where I was at 3 years ago- no longer as obssessive. Unfortunately I live in a small town and I have become as reclusive as I possibly can to avoid crossing paths with old LO. But even after all this time, it’s like a punch in the stomach when I see him across the mall, or out riding his bike- I’m still affected by his presence and then the thoughts resurface- he’s not mine to consider….