I love Blondie, too. Debbie Harry at her platinum blonde height! But I’m not a coffee person. Never drink it. I’m a sodaholic. A fountain soda and homemade chocolate cake …. served by an LO. What else does one need in life? 🙂

Marcia,

But if I time the lane change right, you slam on the brakes and end up wearing that Venti organic soy, extra hot, triple shot caramel macchiato with unpasteurized heavy cream whip, Free Trade West Indies nutmeg, and Myanmar micro business sourced cinnamon, that’s fueling your 70s retrospective. 🙂

Song of the Day (Redux): “Heart of Glass” – Blondie (1978)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WGU_4-5RaxU

“Once I had a love and it was a gas
Soon turned out to be a pain in the ass…”

I love this song!

LE,
Yeah, warn a person when you change lanes. I’m driving in the slow lane, seat-dancing to my disco tunes. 🙂

Marcia,

I did cross a few lanes of traffic on that one. I had a pesky random thought (PRT) on that one.

I’ll try to signal before changing lanes next time. 🙂

Oh, I see we are changing lanes again. The answer to your question is no. In my opinion, if the person is truly supposed to be “your person,” you’d be together. For example, if the person is not available, it ain’t your person. Doesnt mean you wont become limerence, but it ain’t your person. If it is, they get out of what they are in to be with you.

So, Marcia,

Do you have a “one that got away?” Is there someone in your pantheon of discarded relationships that you felt had the potential to be everything you wanted and you’d be together if they hadn’t slipped through your fingers?

We can open that question up to the rest of the community.

Some people do, some people don’t. I don’t. LO #4 thought that I might be LO #2’s OTGA. LO #4 knows more about LO #2 than my wife does.

LE,
“I don’t see it as a personal mindset.”
But it is. Classic back to backer: I was dating a guy going through a divorce. I broke it off. A few months later, we talked and he told me he was reconciling with the wife and they were moving away together. Three months later, I get a “I’m so in love with you” letter from him. He had moved. She hadn’t. I took about 2 or so weeks to respond for me to the letter. So from the time he mailed the letter until he got my response, it was maybe 3, tops 3.5 weeks. We got back together. I later found out, in that period of uncertainty, he was trying to get back with her. He could not be by himself for less than a month.
“People think nothing of dating a lot people when they’re in the market. Sometimes, in rapid succession. So, my first question is how does Marcia define a “back-to-backer?””
Not dating. A person who ends a serious relationship and is on the market within days. Sometimes the old and new relationship will even overlap.
“If my marriage ended tomorrow, how long would I have to wait to avoid the label? Is a week a rebound? A month, a year?”
I have had men ask me out who’d moved out of the marital home a week earlier. That was deal breaker.

Marcia,

“How does the mind of the back to backer work?”

What kind of question is that? Is back to backer (B2B) a description of personal behavior or a description of events? I don’t see it as a personal mindset.

People think nothing of dating a lot people when they’re in the market. Sometimes, in rapid succession. So, my first question is how does Marcia define a “back-to-backer?”

Is it by the length of the previous relationship? If I date you twice and start dating someone I like better and it works, does that make me a “B2B?” If you think 2 dates constitutes a relationship and I don’t, who’s right? If my marriage ended tomorrow, how long would I have to wait to avoid the label? Is a week a rebound? A month, a year?

For some people, being with someone is a huge driver and they don’t like being alone. For other people, B2B would be entirely a matter of circumstance.

My recently divorced friend started corresponding with an old acquaintance after his separation but before his divorce was final. If the relationship goes beyond that, would he be considered a B2B?

Back to backers was the more interesting topic. 🙂 How does the mind of the back to backer work? 🙂 And I’m talking about back to back relationships. Not flings or one-nighters, where there are no rules.

Marcia,

The comment has nothing to do with back-t0-backers. Your post about not stepping up brought that topic up in my head. Entirely different topic.