To NTL:

One of the things that makes life so difficult is that, just when we think we have something figured out, an unexpected occurrence happens that we had not anticipated.

You have no control over what any of your co-workers do, even your dear friend who appears to be rock-solid.

Please be cautious.

LE

I will have a good read of the link you attached

I appreciate this advice, but I feel secure on at least 2 fronts….

– my Friend would NEVER NEVER pass on what we chat about together on our walks. We really, I believe , do not tell anyone else what we chat about. I have told her for certainty that I do not. It is only for, and between, us.

– even if she did… regarding what we have talked about the workplace… most of it is no secret, and I have said nothing I would take back, or deny having said

For me / us … there is no minefield.

And… no, she doesnt always behave the way I want ( but pretty close ! ) but she is her own person.

I was initially a bit put off by your reply about Friend…. But i have read a bunch of your posts… and I think yours is an experienced voice!

But… my Friend is not not
Like that…. ( I might be a but biased, but I think she absolutely wonderful )

NTL,

Have you read https://livingwithlimerence.com/limerence-for-a-co-worker/ ?

Read Fred’s story about his Manic Pixie Dream Girl. I can’t remember if it was him or some other poster who gave his LO an equity position in the company.

There have been some real horror stories about Limerence in the workplace going wrong. None of them have been corroborated but their all very interesting.

– One semi-active poster claims got an EEO complaint filed against him and got fired

– Another poster claimed to have become limerent for a client and got himself disbarred

Some people manage limerence for coworkers pretty well and some have things blow up in their faces.

Be careful. Talking about other coworkers is risky. If she doesn’t trust you and tells them what you said about them or tells management what you said about them, things can get very ugly very quickly.

We want to build a rapport with our LO. It’s usually not that great of an idea in general but with a coworker LO, you’re in a minefield. LOs don’t always behave the way you want them to.

Good luck!

Sounds very flaky to me. Best off without. Likely to be trouble.

Jmmo

SL…

I just was talking to her about some coworkers to be careful of ( office politics ) and it spun out of control, and she took a hard all-or-nothing line, and basically we parted with US ok, but her now almost hating being in the workplace.

Should have kept my mouth shut.

What happened??

For example… I have had times, from weeks and into months, where all I thought about 24/7 was motorcycles or guitars. As a Limerence example… even ones that were “unobtainable”.

For others… drugs, alcohol, gambling, excessive shopping, hoarding, collecting paintings or rare wines….. the list goes one. This can all have behaviors which to my untrained mind look … similar to Limerence. They provide highs and lows, often lying to others / ourselves, affecting work and concentration, etc.

I only managed to annoy her and make her sad and make her upset.

Job well done

– 3 pleasant interactions with my Friend ( she even came to say hi at my desk )… and we are going on a walk this afternoon ( yeah! )… still been hurting all morning… the pain ONLY goes away today when I am with her… so much for ” I am managing this”

– has anyone else seen, in the “wild” another person dealing with an LE, esp in the workplace ( best place to see an LE, sort of like looking for wildlife at the watering holes in Africa )? I have I don’t think actually seen it in person… and I think the signs are hard to miss?

– I hear Limerence in a huge number of songs I never noticed it in before… maybe just more aware now of the signs and symptoms??

– we use the term Limerence OBJECT… in my case I refer to her a Friend. But… can people become Limerent, as it were, for actual Objects?