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Start here https://livingwithlimerence.com/the-neuroscience-of-limerence/

Then, look for the “Search the Site” box on the right side of the page and type in “chemistry.” You’ll get 4 pages of hits.

Voices of the Air

Katherine Mansfield

But then there comes that moment rare
When, for no cause that I can find,
The little voices of the air
Sound above all the sea and wind.

The sea and wind do then obey
And sighing, sighing double notes
Of double basses, content to play
A droning chord for the little throats—

The little throats that sing and rise
Up into the light with lovely ease
And a kind of magical, sweet surprise
To hear and know themselves for these—

For these little voices: the bee, the fly,
The leaf that taps, the pod that breaks,
The breeze on the grass-tops bending by,
The shrill quick sound that the insect makes.

To make a prairie (1755)

Emily Dickinson

To make a prairie it takes a clover and one bee,
One clover, and a bee.
And revery.
The revery alone will do,
If bees are few.

****

🍀 🐝 💭

Katherine Mansfield

In the very early morning
Long before Dawn time
I lay down in the paddock
And listened to the cold song of the grass.
Between my fingers the green blades,
And the green blades pressed against my body.
“Who is she leaning so heavily upon me?”
Sang the grass.
“Why does she weep on my bosom,
Mingling her tears with the tears of my mystic lover?
Foolish little earth child!
It is not yet time.
One day I shall open my bosom
And you shall slip in—but not weeping.
Then in the early morning
Long before Dawn time
Your lover will lie in the paddock.
Between his fingers the green blades
And the green blades pressed against his body . . .
My song shall not sound cold to him
In my deep wave he will find the wave of your hair
In my strong sweet perfume, the perfume of your kisses.
Long and long he will lie there . . .
Laughing—not weeping.”

*******
The Spring’s baby-green whisper is here …. 🌱

Hi Cat. Thanks for sharing. As others have said, any progress is good progress.

In my LE, LO and I have not had any exchange for quite some time. This has really helped me move on. I feel my limerent feelings are much lower now. I can feel myself making progress, as I do not really feel the need to reach out to her now, and I can guess, same is the case with her. So, what I trying to say is that having no contact has really helped me. It was painful at first, but got easier with time.

In fact, just the other day, I saw her walking from a distance. We did not cross paths, though we did look towards each other once from a distance. The good outcome for me was that I did not get any low feelings from that episode.

Getting to this stage has taken a long time for me, several years.

I wish you the best.

Hi Martin

A really interesting story. That would’ve been me to a tee. My L brain would’ve found that insight into her married a life as an open door with a massive neon sign above, saying something like “this way!!”. What you don’t say is what apparently decreased that obsession over that short period. My LO is a work colleague and I’m having to go NC. It’s hurting like a bastard!

JMMO

Monologue —

My student called in sick earlier, so I quickly decide to take Mom (her request) to Dad’s eternal“home” in the afternoon. It did not rain despite a heavy gray cloud and the Sun even came out a little bit on our way home. Life is rarely as one expects….

I never wanted to go the cemitory with Mom, because I could never feel or show any of my emotions in front of her. It seems that she somehow trained me, for two life times, not only to be afraid of showing my emotions, but also my emotions automatically became non-existent in her presence…

The worse, when she hugged Dad’s headstone mumbling something, I just could not help see her faking, as if she did it to prove something to me or god knows to whom (she asked me to write her funeral speech as Dad’s wife, while I rarely saw/sensed her love for him but mostly dependency on him) .

I tried to convince myself that I was too judgmental due to the awful facts I know about her, but I was never actively thinking about what happened in the past, while surrounded by rows and rows of tombstones… Who would cares about anything occurred in the past while standing among invisible beings?! … One wishes one could fly to somewhere in Galaxy so as not to end up there under a stone among countless ghosts — real shapeless, voiceless ghosts!

There was not one exception that I did not this way since summer of 2018 when I carried Dad’s remains to this permanent spot, up on a hill facing the East, incidentally close to Miles Davis, 20-30 meters away down the hill on a crossroad. Later I learned that Dorothy Parker was somewhere nearby, which gave me a great consolation, since she often spoke for me in her purple proses… it’s not bad at all to permanently lie down near her…

I was also irritated today by a huge digging tractor ducked on one grave over Dad’s, one of its long claws was sunk on Dad’s slot. Horrified that the box underneath might be damaged, I texted the manager right on the spot with all the photos, she assured me that nothing was damaged, and the truck was digging open a another slot right below Dad’s feet for a new burial. Still, my somber mood was terribly ruined by a heavy, yellow metal standing so close!

What continues bothering me was that the slot was purchased for three of us, but I no longer want to lie with them, especially Mom. To be very honest with you, I wanted to do what Meredith Grey did to her mother’s ashes in “Grey’s Anatomy” and even told 👽 about it (he never judged me and served as an idealized surrogate parent). But after all this individuation work, I realize that I might not be able to do it as Dr. Grey, which means I’ll have to buy another slot for myself… I will NOT lie down next to Mom, period!

After the irritated visit (always emotional draining), I took a nap to rest my agitated cells (I can feel them very well). Then incidentally came upon a melody that resembles Dad’s reserved but rich, subtle care/love for me, I can sense and feel IT in the accompanying cello —

https://youtu.be/yuWlwVIiTyU?si=ksAq9Ebn6ReFrCqr

It’s so much like Dad… could not help feel this way after he’s gone and could not help shed tears because I could not sense his care for me enough when he was around. I argued with him and defied him so much; we both wanted to say the last word… Yet deep inside him, it’s boundless, selfless love, wise guidance and substantial support! how much I wish I could have appreciated it more when he was still alive.

Compared to all other men I’ve met in my life, LO#1 was closest (by my senses) to Dad, except his covert, rich emotions in his two big sparkly black eyes and in his purple proses (I can’t remember a single word). As a budding “Juliet”tasting a forbidden fruit, I did not know him well, beside that his reciprocating “limerence” with me ruined his life for another 2 decades after we are forced to part, as he confessed to me in person in last century.

Despite all my complaints about Dad and after hearing so many insightful stories of limerents, men and women, I feel so lucky to have my Dad just as who he was — taught me to keep words/promises once they are made(don’t make any if with 1% doubt); enlightened me at 14 the futility of jealousy (never had any until the last LE); demonstrated generosity by opening our door anytime to people of all social status (from university presidents to illiterate peasants); showed me how to forgive enemies (who put him in a labor camp)… the only thing that still puzzles me is how he put up with Mom’s betrayal repeatedly one after another, he was NOT even a half buddhist!

Now, I feel relieved that the door of the memorial dam is opened finally, and the fond memories of Dad flooded back to me (with the assistant of right melodies). I forgot his 7th passing anniversary last December; now I strongly felt his loving presence next to me, proud of whatever “purposeful living” I’m engaged in….

When monologuing especially during deep, mystical nights, life becomes enlivened and full, even the snaky Death hides its face for the time being…

🐦‍🔥

23:44, 4/4/2025