TO CSC:

I did want to make a comment about the video you sent me. If I understood it correctly, the speaker (forgot her name, sorry) said it took her two years of No Contact to get over the person she was obsessed with.

That is disheartening. Obviously it doesn’t mean it would be two years for someone else, but I can’t go more than a week without running into my LO.

Last evening (2/28), I randomly watched one episode of Netflix series “KAOS” about Olympia Gods disguised living among humans in present reality. Oak Nymph, Eurydice, met her tongueless mother in a church to complain about her pain — her lost love for her husband, Orpheus…. Then, I had this very strange dream —

I so unwillingly followed an enormous black woman, with frizzy hair and loud voice, into a huge Cathedral, she was going to marry me! Walking in the isle two or three yards behind her, I was softly mumbling to myself, “I’m not a Lesbian, I don’t want to marry you.” She did not even hear me. I was afraid of her, so dragging my feet towards the front altar of the quite empty Cathedral — I did not see any guests or priest.

Then, on the right side of Cathedral, I saw a tiny reddish Buddhist’s temple with an altar and some burning incense. There were a few male and female monks sitting on the floor meditating and a couple of nuns were walking around organizing stuff. So, I told the black woman that I decided to become a monk; she did not say anything but let me go and then disappeared. I then quickly walked over near the alter, and sat down on a floor cushion to meditate.

I went into my Vipassana meditation and quickly felt energy (in the form of warm current) moving inside my lying-down torso and feet (woke up a little). Then I was thinking, “This is so boring! I don’t want to spend the rest of my life meditating here! I want to love, just an ordinary love for a man!”

Then ET flashed into my head briefly; I thought I’d rather call back my love for him than staying here! I quietly stood up, ready to slip away from the Buddhist’s corner….

Before moving even one step, I woke up…. It’s a quite telling dream, isn’t it? 😏

Ella Wheeler Wilcox

Wherefore in dreams are sorrows borne anew,
A healed wound opened, or the past revived?
Last night in my deep sleep I dreamed of you;
Again the old love woke in me, and thrived
On looks of fire, and kisses, and sweet words
Like silver waters purling in a stream,
Or like the amorous melodies of birds:
A dream—a dream!

Again upon the glory of the scene
There settled that dread shadow of the cross
That, when hearts love too well, falls in between;
That warns them of impending woe and loss.
Again I saw you drifting from my life,
As barques are rudely parted in a stream;
Again my heart was torn with awful strife:
A dream—a dream!

Again the deep night settled on me there,
Alone I groped, and heard strange waters roll,
Lost in that blackness of supreme despair
That comes but once to any living soul.
Alone, afraid, I called your name aloud—
Mine eyes, unveiled, beheld white stars agleam,
And lo! awake, I cried, “Thank God, thank God!
A dream—a dream!”

*****
According to C. Jung —

Every image, every face, every word, every narrative in a dream only tell about some a part of one’s Unconscious, representing and symbolizing one’s repressed/unspeakable wishes, desires, pains, resentments, fears, sadness, resistance, fights, or/and despite.

Anything against laws of the nature in dreams is possible! They indicate or predict nothing about the dreamer’s reality, but paint/tell a dreamer’s current focused concerns or scattered, long lost memories in most unimaginable and bizarrest in Fellini’s shorts.

🐦‍🔥

To CSC:

Thank you for the link to the video. It made total sense, and I am glad I got to watch it.

To LE:

I actually can’t remember the second dream at all, but the first one was super-weird. I dreamed that I was on a vacation at a Florida hotel. The laws of physics did not apply at this hotel. For example, I tried to put items in my suitcase, and they would come out of the suitcase and float around the room.

I locked my room door, and people walked in and out because the lock was completely ineffective.

I washed my hair and the shampoo would not come out, no matter how much water I used.

It was not just me. It was as if the entire hotel and everyone in it was trapped in some kind of Bermuda Triangle or something.

I called LO on the phone, in the dream, and he was so happy to hear from me. I was telling him how unpredictable and almost scary the hotel was, and that I was looking forward to coming home. He said he couldn’t wait to see me. Then I woke up.

My interpretation: Life is unpredictable and scary. I look to LO to help me make sense of it. In my dream world, he has all the answers. In real life, he is completely unprepared and unwilling to do this.

Norma,

Just out of curiosity, what are telling you?

Mine tended to have pretty direct messages. Dreams about LO #2 centered on things are long over between us and it’s finally time to let go.

Lesson: Not everyone who comes into your life is meant to stay there.

Dreams about LO #4 centered on I didn’t really mean anything to her and continuing to deal with her came with some potentially catastrophic consequences.

Lesson: Not everyone who comes into your life should be there at all and you’re playing with fire.

When I was actively in an LE or in therapy, I tended to have more dreams about my LOs. Once I came out the other side, they largely disappeared.

We didn’t have an argument or anything, I just got sick of his lack of responsiveness to me. This is not about romantic feelings, it’s basic courtesy that is the issue.

I am just going to go do some slow breathing exercises. Thanks for listening. Everyone here has been so nice to me.

oops @Norma
this was the link…duhhh

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eRVHpZMnXY0

Hi @Norma

Yes, from what I hear, relapsing from an involved LE does happen. It’s happening in my own LE right now. I just had a minor relapse (sent a small text) last night. Not worth it…not worth the anxious, and kind of queasy feeling I have today, I can tell you that!…all this yucky feeling, from just sending one small text. Yes, NC is very, very hard.

I wanted to share a video with you that I found helpful…it explains how NC can heal. I watched it today as a reminder of what I’m aiming for.

Person addiction is real – and the withdrawal can be complicated. It might be helpful to know what NC is doing within your mind, even as you feel you are going through hell.

I hope you’re doing ok today. It’s hard, I know.

If one has not dreamt about one’s LE/crusher, one can’t be called limerent/curshed.

IMO, one way to defuse a shaky impact of dreams (in any direction) is to write them down like writing journal entries, as detailed and authentic as possible even if they’re very messy/blurry, illogical, magical, or nauseating… without adding any logically imagined or wished “facts”.…

Edit them grammatically…. After reading it over a couple of times, one may find one is reading a piece of someone else’s news.

After posting to you this morning, I fell back to sleep and had a vivid, “marathon” dream about a historical character from his autobiography; the images in the dream were ugly and disturbing.… I was an observer 👁️ (the observing mind), not a participant, in the dream.

I analysized in my OCD mind while taking a long walk what my unconscious was trying to tell me and eventually figured it out.… later, I was joyful that it was just such a telling dream (though disgusting) and that xLO was not in it at all….

I’ve dreamed about (un)known people and fictional characters all my life, and some members (never met any) from this site with unimaginable vivid details… it is a part of the Unconsious’ life, in limerence or not.

So there is NO reasons to be shaked by any kind of dreams — they’re a part of one’s SHADOW (based on Jungian theories).