Oh Snow. Really, I am just hiding in this deep dark corner to try and keep her away from the welder’s ‘charms’. There you are, you made me say it.

Trifles, LaR ,

You two need to move back to the center of L’Amoor — Christmas Limerence, to attend our “new/returned” patrons… not stuck in this private corner all day along whispering…

I need to get out of my bed… 🛏️

This one:
https://youtu.be/gu9_m0vm7fM?si=KxNvj4_AGPAIFvCW — Bad 🐇
And look at it as a way of showing new sides of yourself to SO. You can try a few salsa steps while watching as well. Or tell her you watch the videos “just for the ladies”. 😉

And thanks for the video – though I was expecting something more in line with the new image of the Inn (sexier).
(You see, it’s working – we a already lured Limerent Nurse back in!)
But I can see that being a hit on the moor, amongst the welder and his pals.

Which video?! I lost track of all the traffic in here last night and it has been too tricky to have a catch up Latin American party during the day (might have led to awkward questions from SO, as Ricky and Enrique are not my usual genre of choice!). If there are no redheads in it, then I need this made easy 🤣

I was guessing it wasn’t a fruitcake. It’s not quite the done thing in ‘France’, I guess 🇫🇷 I’m glad it turned out well 🥮

It’s a slight genre change, but I’m sliding a little known but brilliant Christmas song onto the jukebox for you:

Bellowhead, Christmas Bells:
https://youtu.be/b5YNis7eVLM?feature=shared

I just love how good of a time they all seem to be having in the video!

…And I’m talking about the “El Baño” video that Snow linked (not “Silence of the Lambs” 😅).

That squashed feeling (selling daft ideas nailed it!) is unfortunately familiar to me. But I’m sure you’re good at it!

My cake turned out great. It’s a much simpler cake than your English one – I prefer no fruit or raisins in coffee cake anyway. 😉 But I was inspired by Enrique’s lady friend’s order and splashed some rum in there.

“If you want me to pour you that, I need some guidance.”
Lol, it takes a couple of cubes of ice and drops them in a lowball glass, then it pours the well-aged dark rum over it. (Sorry for the Silence of the Lambs-esque delivery.)
You must not have watched the video. I recommend you watch it, it’s much better watching for the straight men than the women anyway. (Spoiler: no redheads)

I like it when the underlings can ‘work a meeting’ so much with the body language and eyes that the higher-ups u-turn on a bad decision. Boss at my place literally *craves* validation for all he does, and it is sometimes possible for the aforementioned teamwork approach to quash nonsense at source, purely because of his insecurities.

Being on the other side of the table is a truly dark art, though. I have to sell daft ideas from above to my staff and end up just squashed in the sandwich.

You lost me at ‘rom com hielo’ I’m afraid. Not heard of it.If you want me to pour you that, I need some guidance.

You are leaving the christmas cake late. The type we have needs to ‘mature’ and be periodically ‘watered’ (so to speak – ‘gotten drunk’ is more accurate). SO – many times over a better party planner than me – made it a month or more ago. I hope yours turns out well!

LaR, that doesn’t sound like gushing. It’s a very good explanation of why you exhibit all three points that you mentioned. It does sound like you have someone “in your corner” and understandably don’t want to give that up.

Ha, in my example from last week I was actually playing for both sides a bit! The higher-up most likely considered me his most probable ally and seemed desperate to catch my eye. He was introducing some changes that many wouldn’t like. I didn’t give him his validation because I had to stand strong for our team. So I kept my head down and tried for a neutral expression when forced to catch eyes. (While probably accidentally giving both the once-over! Or the shy “I’m not looking at you” look that Adam likes 😜 – while trying. to. look. neutral!)

“Thank you for ‘listening’ – another free drink earned for that”
Thanks, I believe I’ll try the rom con hielo while I bake a Christmas cake.

Hi Superpower Me,

Thanks so much for replying and being so honest. For now, I am marking this for future attention / reply. Should this Coffeehouse thread close (which it might, soon), I will put the reply in the new Christmas coffeehouse. It’d be good to chat ☕️ keep doing all the good stuff you’re doing with this new person – you sound really self-aware, which is a great start!

Trifles,

I know well that feeling in a meeting where a person is looking at you to try and seek your disagreement with the person you are actually in agreement with, and who is looking at you from the other side!! You were off-base that I work in HR, but I still always end up mediating a room, whether I ask to or not.

I don’t think you/women will often ‘accidentally’ mean to communicate more than the looking for solidarity / same wavelength in a meeting. Truth is – men are just terrible at mixing ‘solidarity’ with ‘I am madly in love with you’! Our brains aren’t wired right to decode it. We see what we want to see as well.

“You might have that same thing of feeling “in sync” in some way?”

I’m glad you asked. Pull up a pew and let’s chat!

I’m going to resist any spiritual ‘twin flame’ type explanation (I could explain it better by an MBTI combo), but honestly, it can feel like that – and the foundations of this were put down way pre-LE. If we were in a room of hundreds, we would still both know where the other was, and would be likely to be helping each other navigate that situation (which neither relishes) in different ways, whether in physical proximity or not.

We are complementary in meetings and social situations, in that my weaknesses are her strengths and her weaknesses are my strengths. So there is a lot to be had by operating as a combo, and we both know / have said it. There is also an acknowledged pact that if we can clearly see the other is struggling with something across a room, we will seek to intervene to help them out of it.

I am sorry if the above sounds ‘gushy’ (Snow might say I was boasting). But they are just facts of the matter – facts that I have no other outlet to express than here. I have said to you before about ‘finding your people’ and holding onto them. You will probably see from the above even more clearly: 1. why I want to hold on to my MFF, 2. why I need not to be limerent for her, 3. why the two are hard to separate!

The other bit I have had to learn to deal with since she was single (and I wasn’t) is that from time to time she’ll flirt with other men. Limerence kicked me in the pants with that a couple of times. But I can kind of reconcile it now – what right would I have not to?? – and I try never to be ‘judgey’ about it. But how can my face not be betraying some of how I really feel in those situations?

I think the ultimate acid test our relationship will ever face is if and when she does get together with someone else. I will want to be pleased for her, but my biology will see to it that I will dislike the guy and find him not worthy of her. But she is a very confident and informed judge of who is worthy of her anyway … so I would at least be able to trust that side, even if I didn’t like it.

Thank you for ‘listening’ – another free drink earned for that 😀