This is so interesting. I’d like to hear more about it.

Hi Teika,

I revealed too many recognizable things here already🙈
so I’m sorry, I don’t really want to write outright where I’m from, but I think everyone here guessed it already anyway, and if you look at the pattern of my bad English, you might easily guess it, I think🙈
I don’t think the way of communicating is cold or aloof generally, and I do appreciate the politeness.
I just think there’s an English (haven’t noticed it in Scotland or Ireland) way of saying „many thanks“ and other polite phrases in a way that you feel that underneath they don’t mean it at all, and then I like it better to spare me the phrases and just say the truth 😂😂it’s a bit like that for me in Japan too.
On the other hand I don’t enjoy the charmless rudeness of not a few of my fellow natives either!

It’s all a matter of what we are used to, I guess.

Anyway, thanks for being ok with me not really responding to the story🙏🏻I think everyone has such an individual take on limerence, it’s natural that one story doesnt’t reach all corners of all minds, but it’s still good to read it and be it only to think „no, that’s not what I experienced“ and thus making things a tad clearer for oneself.

Thanks for your kind comment, Adam, and for telling me about that Aliens comic book – it sounds like a great read! Just my kind of thing. 🙂

Thanks for your comment, Anna, and for sharing your experience. Purposeful living is definitely the way forward and I wish you all the best as you navigate the sometimes rocky terrain of limerence. “You’ve got this.” 🙂

Hi Snowpheonix, nice to meet you and thank you for your lovely comment about my story. I guess that like many writers, I prefer to write stories which aim to get a reader thinking and asking questions about certain topics, so I feel that in that respect I’ve succeeded because you’ve asked some very interesting questions there… I don’t have any answers as yet (I am a much slower thinker than my husband, so it would take me a good long while to give you a meaningful response) but I will think about your questions. Maybe I’ll come up with another story as a result of those thoughts… Take care and all the best. 🙂

Hi LN, nice to meet you too. 🙂 And I’m glad to hear that you’ve found it refreshing to hear from a fellow Christian and that you’ve been able to get to a place where you accept that your limerence isn’t a defect in your character or a spiritual attack. I think it’s important to remember that God loves us just as we are. But of course, it’s still a challenge to become the best versions of ourselves. Indeed, it’s almost always a lifetime’s work! All the best with moving forward. God bless. X

Hi Mila, good to meet you and thanks for your comment and kind words. Yes, you’re right, politeness is a big thing in Britain, and if you’re not from the UK our way of communicating may seem rather cold or aloof. I’m curious to know where you’re from? (My parents came to the UK from Eastern Europe so I know they had to adjust to the British way of life and communication.) And with regards to my story – there’s no right or wrong way to interpret it. If it speaks to you, that’s great. If not, then that’s fine too. 🙂

Good to meet you Sammy and thanks for your kind words. Introverts really are the best! And the worst… Thankfully, as writers, both Tom and I get to spend a lot of time indoors and in our own heads – which is probably our most favourite place to be. Trouble is when we have to go outside and actually talk to people. The horror! The most surprising thing about this occasionally-venturing-outside business is that sometimes it’s actually enjoyable… 😉

Hi Heebie jeebies

I’m sorry if my wording caused you any distress, that certainly was not my intent.
I have been working with a therapist for a while now and we are trying different strategies to help with this, shall we say “condition”

Limerence is just a label to describe our distressing thoughts/emotions/feelings of basically an obsession with a person, so yes, what you are saying makes sense.

Obsessions can fall under many categories like OCD, Bi-polar disorder, Cluster B personality disorder (NPD, Borderline, Histrionic etc.)
Also depression and anxiety can cause unhealthy attachments.

Different people have different experiences with Limerence I think because we all have different underlining causes.
(All of this is just my opinion only)

I guess what I was trying to say in my post is rather than trying to grapple with Limerence, seek some medical advice to see what the underlying cause is. Some people already know why, most don’t.

Also it’s really hard to “cure” thought/feelings and emotions, they make us who we are. I think they just have to be reframed in our minds.

A lot of people medicate them away, rather than deal with them.

I do know for me that Limerence stems from my upbringing and my resulting attachment style. TBH if it wasn’t for Limerence I never would of discovered that. Limerence drove me to seek therapy, and that was a good thing.
Kind of like the thorn on the beautiful rose.

Good to meet you too and thanks for reading my story. 🙂