I teach young girls at university everyday and have limerence issues. I too am at about age 60 and found one in particular as being perfect for me…after we went out several times I realised it was better not to have any contact with her at all. The fantasy is so strong that after one year it is still compelling and overwhelming at times. So thanks so much for the article and to the readers for their wonderful comments. I am sure this problem is not that rare and the article’s analysis is spot on. Please write more about this for all of us!

Adam hi!

Each age has its beautiful and unique moments. Life is like a rose bud which slowly unfolds its precious petals at different stages of its existence, until it withers away, but the exquisite fragrance remains in the environment to be remembered with nostalgia when the petals finally fall to the ground…

The spirit within us is eternal, it never ages, therefore the longing, the yearning and craving for physical youth! One has to learn how to best deal with it gracefully and accept it, although reluctantly. Hmm…

Pablo Casals, the Spaniard/Puerto rican most famous cellist, composer and conductor, married three times, the last marriage when old , to a much , much younger girl. He was a very vigorous man! So was Luciano Pavarotti the Italian , famous tenor, he also married a very , very young girl at his old age and had a child. The late husband of Celine Dion , the Canadian famous singer, was also a very old man and had children with her. Remember the French president Francois Mitterrand and his young mistress, with whom he also had a child? Also, the ex Greek president, Andreas Papandreos, who divorced his wife Margaret and married a much younger
but matured women, in her forties, I think she was about that age, but had no children with his new young wife. It was a great scandal in Europe . But they didn’t give a hoot. He kept winning the elections!

Men have the privilege to marry much younger girls, whereas women are frowned upon if they choose a younger partner . It just doesn’t match, according to biology and society. In other words women have an expiration date to bear children , then they are apparently discarded . This makes me very 😞 sad. Older men prefer much younger girls over a mature one, that’s a fact. My SO is ten years older than me. I preferred older partners for their experience ,wisdom, and already economically, emotionally established. (Well, not all, my LO was older but was not economically established for his age, eight years older than me.) The younger fellows, of my age, were boring and immature for my taste. Too much philosophy can make you mature ahead of your times… not letting you enjoy your youth, it makes you too picky! My two cents.

Have a great weekend you all beautiful limerents!

I totally understand. My attraction since my youth has always been to older mature women. Then here comes LO into my life. I didn’t ask for it. It was out of my control. And here comes this woman 10-15 years younger than me that totally grabs my attention. So besides the limerence I get the usual derision for having eyes for a woman that young at my age. But the whole office knew I “had a crush” on her. Truly embarrassing and shameful. So I get labeled as the usual mid life crisis old man eyeing younger women out of some desperation to be young again. When really I am quite content with my age.

Cradle snatcher , Dog girl,

I’m much older than you both but my LO is eight years older than me. He was an ex SO, whom I loved dearly. Now stuck on those three beautiful years we spent together, and it’s killing me slowly …

I admire and celebrate handsome and athletic bodies of young men but not with lust. ( But I dream of being young again.) I was a late bloomer and passed my youth without checking this aspect of me , I was not into checking them out at all! Didn’t know what I was missing! I was more concerned with work and books… Oh , if we only were given a second chance at life???

Sending kind thoughts your way.

I am a mid-lifer in my late forties, and I am appalled that I am attracted to younger people. My LO in in his early thirties. The next one, a crush, 5 years younger. The latest another 5 years younger than the last. At this rate, I’ll be cradle snatching.

MS, glad to read a kindred soul. I too am fresh over 60 and “seemingly” in L with a young lady 30 yrs my junior. LwL has helped me greatly that this is LE and seeing her in her true self versus my young love rescuing me from a sexless marriage, professional stress, a level of depression from several key people in my life passing over the last several years. Hence a toxic mix for LE to get me.

One thing that is working for me is seeing my LO warts and all, hence, she really isn’t that special. She’s unreliable, undependable, selfish, avoidant, displays several narcissitic traits, appears to have significant trauma that she brings to the table. Then add, I’m trying to hard at NC (phasing it in to limit the withdrawal).

In short, I think I’m making progress as the glimmer of her is beginning to fade. All so that I won’t hopefully become the poster child for “… embarking on that affair, and start the second half of their lives by jeopardising everything they’ve achieved in the first half…”

Hi Ernie, and welcome to LwL. It sounds like you are really battling with your feelings, LEs are such a contradiction aren’t they – euphoria, occasional despondency and that awful lack of control over our mind. I am a happily married mid-life limerent also. I hope you can see from this site that you are not alone and that many good married people suffer from exactly the same problem. Please take comfort from knowing that being very emotionally and/or physically attracted to another woman is not necessarily any reflection of how you feel about your SO and family, and is a natural part of being human. For most of us, it is not possible to last a lifetime without developing such feelings so please be kind to yourself and try to accept how you feel, understand that it is OK to feel that way and that you are not doing anything wrong. It sounds like you still really love your SO which is wonderful as it is important in this situation to ensure you continue to really appreciate and make the most of what you already have with her – your behaviour towards her is key. As well as browsing the blog articles, I would really recommend the Emergency Reprogramming course – it works and has a focus on analysing your specific situation, and taking concrete actions that will result in you gradually recovering from your limerent person addiction.
I disclosed to my SO, very carefully framing it as person addiction. It really helps having his support and understanding, plus it is a comfort knowing I am being honest. Is that a possibility for you?
Wishing you well.