MJ,
“What do you think of an appropriate Lwl themed name? Like maybe,
Serious NC or DJ Glimmer?”
LOL. Love it! DJ Glimmer spin the sounds ….

@Marcia,

What do you think of an appropriate Lwl themed name? Like maybe,
Serious NC or DJ Glimmer?

Thanks so much for sharing that IMHO. I never saw that post. I’m at the end of the LE and coming out of the fog and it’s painful to look at it all. I also hope that sharing could help someone else. I’m getting out of the relapse and that feels good too. Thanks for your compassion. I always appreciate your comments!

Hi Beth,
I’m not an expert or shining example but I would say don’t let past choices impede your progress.
We are all human, humanity means we naturally seek connections and to be valuable and valued. We have periods of weakness.
I remember a post here some time ago when a poster had an intense LE with her therapist, and the therapist was unethical and ensured she kept coming back for therapy sessions to him. It was so challenging the imbalances of power.
Of course we can say the limerent can make the right decisions and ward off narc behaviours, but human interactions are complex and sometimes us sensitive types are just that sensitive and vulnerable.
That’s ok. That’s who we are. You were caught off guard at probably a vulnerable time.
Be kind to yourself, you are progressing so well.

i’m all for fun, however, the last couple of posts maybe should be on a new thread in the coffeehouse. As a bit out of sync on the tone of the thread. I’m really not being judgemental as I include myself in being more mindful since a frequent lwl poster here (who is really suffering) has decided to leave LWL recently due to some off-target replies to her post.
So I’m just trying to share my mindfulness on that.

Also, Adam … My diet is vegan, gluten free, pastured raised and organic. Please plan the snacks you’ll be serving accordingly 🙂

MJ,
No, he needs a Run DMC track suit. Adidas shoes.
And some kind of break dancer name like Glyde, Crazy Legs or Mr. Freeze.

Also, Adam … My diet is vegan, gluten free, pastured raised and organic. Please plan the snacks you’ll be serving accordingly 🙂

@Adam,
Take the Fedora off too and wear a ball cap backwards. That should give it an 80s vibe..

Adam,
Do you have hulu? There’s a new documentary on it about break dancing in NYC in the early ’80s named “Breakin’ On the One.”

Are you practicing? Are you ready? We expect an era-appropriate costume for your performance. Please don’t think about doing it in modern-day skinny jeans. 🙂

This really resonates with me Adam. I’ve been down the road of trying to blame LO. The fact is he did some unethical things. Being that he was my boss and also taught my kids, he never should have given me these free, private life coaching sessions on the side. These “sessions” were more like counseling and an indoctrination into his beliefs of all you do is think to manifest what you want in life. Not a good thing to get exposed to when limerent. My faith became very shaky. We talked about deep and very personal subjects and he shared things as well. My counselor told me it is unethical for a counselor to get support from the client or divulge personal details. Another thing he did wrong. Given he was a trained counselor and teacher he knew that. So in spite of all of that, I’m married and I’m still responsible.

When he became my boss and I started to get limerent, I remember emailing him all sorts of questions. It was a rush to hear back. I will never forget when he called me and offered me “coaching.” He said husbands can’t really do this for you. They just care about what is for dinner.” My rationale mind was screaming don’t do it. You know you shouldn’t have long conversations with a guy you have a crush on. But it felt so good so I CHOSE to go against my conscience and chose what felt good. My rational self tried to get me to quit my job when he became my boss because he was so flirty. There was part of me that could see danger ahead.

Every choice I made in the LE that was wrong there was always that moment where I could have chose differently. Yes it was tough but not impossible. At the time it can feel like you have no choice but you do. I thank God I made some right choices like not going to his house when he invited me over. His wife was gone and his child had a friend over and was busy. How could I have explained that to my spouse?

So yes now I’m dealing with the guilt over all my choices and breaking the last strings of emotional attachment. During the height of the LE it was so easy to rationalize bad choices and blame the LE. I’m still in the breaking away phase from a relationship that was mostly in my mind.