This is an interesting thought. I’ve now experienced the “glimmer” twice in my life. First time was when I was 19 (she was 18), and I didn’t think I’d ever feel like that about anyone again. I didn’t feel that way about the person I had a nearly decade long relationship with afterwards, but I very much fell in love with her. Looking back on it, I think I may have been an LO to her.

I feel like Limerence isn’t a binary thing; there is a spectrum so to speak. According to the quiz on this site, I might (58%) have an LE with the person I’m currently dating. I don’t have all the obsessive thoughts and behaviors, but I definitely check some of the boxes.

Back to your thought as to whether everyone may be able to experience this. I feel like you may be onto something there. My two experiences of feeling the glimmer have one thing in common: I was/am extremely attracted to both of them physically, and they are both similar in their looks (size,figure, eye color, hair color). They’re both my “type” so to speak. I think everyone has a type they’re naturally attracted to, and there’s a definite possibility to have these feelings when you become romantically involved with a person that checks all these physical boxes.

This is my personal opinion again, but I think the glimmer is a sort of official term for what people always referred to as “love at first sight”. Either way, I’m glad to have found this site and gained some understanding of why I’m having these feelings with the person I’m currently seeing.

Hello bridgelover. It must be difficult for you right now as it’s so recent. At least you had very clear respectful engagements and communication with him. (It seems many do not have/get this). Now the accepting ‘he is how he is’ and letting him go. Got to be hard and its ok to cry and grieve for the loss and unfulfilled potential. I hope you do have friends and fun stuff to look forward to, new goals and horizons to focus on and find the joy you deserve. I’m probably not best placed to make such statements – but directionally I know this is the right path. Best wishes

Thank you, IMHO. I did not send LO the letter. We did meet in person over coffee. I had thought about disclosing in person, but the connection I felt during the meeting was so warm and nice that I decided to enjoy it for what it was and not disclose. He did say that I was not bothering him, and to let him know if I needed anything. Since then I saw him twice at work-related things and he seemed reasonably happy to see me, but I mostly left him alone in between. Sadly, yesterday I texted him a few times and while he did respond, his response was very slow. I said I would check in on him in a week and he very nicely and politely asked me not to. So: I’m ending it. Permanent NC on the social level, polite LC otherwise. I’m actually still not sure if he knows I’m romantically interested or not, but it doesn’t matter since I have to respect his boundary either way. I just made the decision this morning and it is a relief not to be in limbo, but it also hurts and makes me cry. He really is married to his career and does not seem to want to have close friends outside of work at all; it’s not just me; if anything, he probably likes me more than he likes most people, just not enough to be friends. Hopefully I can cry until I feel better and then go and find some other friends.

Hello bridgelover, the comments are so active at the moment that many fallout of the listing ridiculously quickly. I noted you posted on this blog earlier today. I really hope you are okay as I remember you were in two minds on sending your LO a letter some time ago. Our friend Lost in Space is no longer posting here, at least at the moment, 😞 so I’m trying to fill the gap a little bit and ask how you communicated with your ‘cold’ LO in the end ? Could you communicate with him without written declaration? I’m not a big supporter of written disclosures, from my experience on both sides of sending and receiving. I hope you can have that real f2f or verbal engagement with him at some point. Maybe it is that you feel you can rescue him from his distance if he would just let you in…. That is how I read it from your postings, rightly or wrongly.
I hope you see my message. My best wishes.

My LO2 and I were mutually limerent for each other but couldn’t be together due to life circumstances. It was painful, but a good life lesson.

My LO3 (current) not only seems to be a non-limerent, he seems not to desire ANY type of close relationship with ANYONE other than his family. It’s thrown me for a loop since at least my other two LOs wanted some type of connection with me on some level–it would make sense that I would have feelings for them, but not him. I don’t understand why my brain is doing this to me. And that is my thought for tonight.

I recently bought a t-shirt that has my LOs hometown football team on it. I don’t even know if she likes football, but I don’t care because it reminds me of LO. I’ll probably wear it as a sleep shirt, since it will help make me feel closer to her.