Comments on: Is limerence binary or a spectrum? https://livingwithlimerence.com/is-limerence-binary-or-a-spectrum/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=is-limerence-binary-or-a-spectrum Life, love, and limerence Sun, 28 Apr 2024 12:50:48 +0000 hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.1.9 By: BLE https://livingwithlimerence.com/is-limerence-binary-or-a-spectrum/#comment-56270 Sun, 28 Apr 2024 12:50:48 +0000 https://livingwithlimerence.com/?p=3471#comment-56270 I struggle when limerence is referenced within a broader context as a type of love. It may feel so while stuck in a LE, but it simply isn’t. I’m even doubtful they can co-exist.
Personally, I experience limerence as binary. I’m in or out of limerence and my mind operates entirely different in those distinct states. Limerence, for me, is characterized by a complete loss of control over my thoughts – a sensation I don’t encounter in the infatuated state of a crush or a even a deeper love for someone. Furthermore, when I successfully “leave” a limerent episode, there’s a sense of strangeness. I’m left bewildered, unable to comprehend my own motivations behind my actions and thoughts. It’s akin to recalling the actions of a stranger. This feeling doesn’t arise with genuine care and love for a person. Limerence is addiction and it necessitates proper test batteries or psychological questionnaires for effective assessment. Describing it as ‘passionate love’ doesn’t align with the nature of addiction and feels as out of place as associating passion with, for instance, alcoholism.

]]> By: Avik CR https://livingwithlimerence.com/is-limerence-binary-or-a-spectrum/#comment-53227 Fri, 01 Mar 2024 15:17:08 +0000 https://livingwithlimerence.com/?p=3471#comment-53227 Dr L: explaining whether limerence is binary or spectrum.

me wondering what EA is: Oh yeah, I get it.

]]> By: Iris https://livingwithlimerence.com/is-limerence-binary-or-a-spectrum/#comment-52593 Sat, 17 Feb 2024 05:59:56 +0000 https://livingwithlimerence.com/?p=3471#comment-52593 For me, I had what I called an intrigue or fascination/attraction for my LO when he was with someone else and then in the most peculiar way, we ended up together and the high for me was real and I knew very quickly that if this ended I’d be devastated. So I was in high anxiety a lot and he turned out to be a narc so double pain. Now 1.5 years into break up I’m only just learning a lot about limerance. I always thought it was the early pink cloud/honeymoon phase of something but it goes beyond that for me. It’s also for me anyway, not binary to a distant non-reciprocal attraction. It’s very much present for me when in relation to an LO.
And I fit all the criteria for limerance

]]> By: Beth 2 https://livingwithlimerence.com/is-limerence-binary-or-a-spectrum/#comment-51227 Fri, 19 Jan 2024 21:32:43 +0000 https://livingwithlimerence.com/?p=3471#comment-51227 I agree with the summary statement at the end. I’m not 100% out of this LE but on the spectrum of feelings lower than ever. My question is when we are finally out of LE are we always susceptible to being limerent for that LO again in the future. There are times I swear it’s over and bam he calls and it’s back again.

]]> By: Limerick https://livingwithlimerence.com/is-limerence-binary-or-a-spectrum/#comment-51137 Thu, 18 Jan 2024 04:58:52 +0000 https://livingwithlimerence.com/?p=3471#comment-51137 In reply to Limerent Emeritus.

Hi Limerent Emeritus. I hope you didn’t wish her a happy 15th. Good to hear others are also in this “stage” of limerence.

]]> By: Mila https://livingwithlimerence.com/is-limerence-binary-or-a-spectrum/#comment-51069 Wed, 17 Jan 2024 06:54:44 +0000 https://livingwithlimerence.com/?p=3471#comment-51069 In reply to Mila.

Hi IMHO,

wow I‘m curious how I it went!
I think the sweets can be excused in this case;)it’s anyway heroic to still have leftovers from Christmas, they wouldn’t have survived in my house.
So he kept his promise but wasn’t he a bit late, didn’t he say he would call last week?
Have to got to work but waiting for your report
(You are right, maybe on coffeehouse)..

]]> By: Mila https://livingwithlimerence.com/is-limerence-binary-or-a-spectrum/#comment-51067 Wed, 17 Jan 2024 06:35:19 +0000 https://livingwithlimerence.com/?p=3471#comment-51067 In reply to Mila.

Hi Bewitched,

nothing to do with courage, more with my special situation of LO being a friend. I wouldn’t have asked him for a meeting, but he did, and since I don’t want to disrupt the friendship I cannot suddenly deny all meetings.
Also, since I‘m feeling much better limerent-wise, I don’t dread and hope for it so much now.
Lowering expectations is the key, you are right!
I managed to get back to not expecting more than friendship.

I hope we go on being that strong! The year started not so bad for us!
Thanks for your good wishes, don’t know which time zone you are in, I wish you a wonderful day!

]]> By: Imho https://livingwithlimerence.com/is-limerence-binary-or-a-spectrum/#comment-51053 Tue, 16 Jan 2024 22:26:35 +0000 https://livingwithlimerence.com/?p=3471#comment-51053 ]]> In reply to Mila.

Hi Mila, Bewitched,
Keep the steel like strength you are developing, I like it ! Let’s visualise us transcending way above our LOs in any interactions.
Higher, Better ! Let’s report back on the ‘ Winter Coffeehouse’ forum to keep Dr L happy we are staying on topic.
I just had conversation with my long distance LO after more than 3 months seeing/ speaking. Will report back after I’ve processed it all.

P.S. I had 4 sweets from Christmas leftovers today. Yes I am weak but honest !! 🤣

]]> By: Bewitched https://livingwithlimerence.com/is-limerence-binary-or-a-spectrum/#comment-51051 Tue, 16 Jan 2024 21:44:30 +0000 https://livingwithlimerence.com/?p=3471#comment-51051 . I admire your courage, actually, in having him around. Especially as work is busy. I hope that you continue to feel "non limerent" in the lead-up and that it will be a nice friendly day for you all. Having lowered expectations of my LO is working for me. I hope it continues to work for you too. Go Mila!]]> In reply to Mila.

Dear Mila,

I look forward to seeing how you get on.
Dont let him get to you😉.

I admire your courage, actually, in having him around. Especially as work is busy. I hope that you continue to feel “non limerent” in the lead-up and that it will be a nice friendly day for you all.

Having lowered expectations of my LO is working for me. I hope it continues to work for you too.

Go Mila!

]]> By: Mila https://livingwithlimerence.com/is-limerence-binary-or-a-spectrum/#comment-51050 Tue, 16 Jan 2024 20:53:01 +0000 https://livingwithlimerence.com/?p=3471#comment-51050 If I eat nuts instead of sweets I tend to eat a lot of nuts:)and put in weight. I don’t need to lose weight but don’t like to put it on either. I like dark chocolate, actually! Will try that, thanks! By the way, my LO asked if we have time on Sunday, like usual he didn’t propose any things we could do, so in the end we invited him and his kid round for dinner. So, real contact as limerence test is looming ahead as I wrote earlier.. But with my family at my side and my newfound non-limerence I will stay strong💪🏻!]]> In reply to Imho.

Thanks for the tips Imho!

I ate no sweets today😌
If I eat nuts instead of sweets I tend to eat a lot of nuts:)and put in weight. I don’t need to lose weight but don’t like to put it on either. I like dark chocolate, actually! Will try that, thanks!

By the way, my LO asked if we have time on Sunday, like usual he didn’t propose any things we could do, so in the end we invited him and his kid round for dinner.
So, real contact as limerence test is looming ahead as I wrote earlier..
But with my family at my side and my newfound non-limerence I will stay strong💪🏻!

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