@Call me Cordelia.

From the sound of things, you are a person who wants to behave conscientiously, and I think that’s really admirable! 😛

“I miss the normal, the mundane rhythms I used to have. The structure and the quiet reflective moments where my mind can relax and enjoy the life I am living. The LE cheats me out of my personhood with the incessant ruminating and whatnot and splatters me into different directions. The LE steals part of me away from myself and the end result is burnout. Very similar to the effects of too much of a “good thing” back in my college days of youth”

@DogGirl.

I like your reflection here. Yes, limerence definitely made me feel like my mind was being torn apart in a hundred different directions at once. 😉

“I see limerence as the dangerous thing that it is.”

@Adam
I don’t see it as anything but a dangerous venture into an emotional train wreck (particularly when you have a SO which I do.) I see no upside to it at all because it is basically an illusion, not real and a distortion. I’d rather just take a psychedelic drug for a few hours and let my mind go somewhere else knowing at least the drug will wear off shortly and then I can get back to my “normal” life. I miss the normal, the mundane rhythms I used to have. The structure and the quiet reflective moments where my mind can relax and enjoy the life I am living. The LE cheats me out of my personhood with the incessant ruminating and whatnot and splatters me into different directions. The LE steals part of me away from myself and the end result is burnout. Very similar to the effects of too much of a “good thing” back in my college days of youth (sex, drugs, rock and roll). But now at my age it just feels like burn-out.

@Marcia

“Forgot all this planning and plotting. Just ask the woman to lunch.”

I feel like you read my posts and then either slam your fist on the table or you scream at your screen when you read I’m pussyfootin it around talking to LO.

I know you want me to go and talk to her. Believe me, I know I want to go and talk to her. But its that crippling shyness that gets in the way, every damn time I want to go and do something. I can go over and plan for that perfect moment, just to go meet and see her in the parking lot, and right before I get there, I’ll stop dead in my tracks and say, I can’t do this. What if?..What if?.. What if?..

It’s so crazy the power I give to this Woman and I know she’s only 28. But I just turn to silly putty when I know she’s around. It’s nuts.

@Speedwagon,

Thank you for your concern and suggestion. I made the statement because I know my situation has been dragged out extensively and there is that lingering doubt LO is actually interested. Of course I don’t need HR involved.

I guess I just wanted to remark to her on her beauty because I thought through my doing so, might explain some of my reasoning for being so stunned and shy in her presence. It’s probably not the best idea, but one I considered, just to get it off the ground. Small talk about work is probably better.
With timing and help from the good Lord, my fingers are crossed..

@Adam,

I haven’t tried the Baconator yet but I’ll take your word for it.
It sounds good. I love the all natural lemonade. It’s so good during these summer months.

Thanks for your suggestions. They sound doable too. But I can see myself chickening out again. Always easier said than done with me.

And to add to what you said, LO rocked it in a ballcap too. She came in early on a Saturday last year and I remember I was surprised to see her at her desk so early. But she looked adorable. It was a beige Yankees cap and her hair was long and straight, coming out the back of it. I was smitten as a kitten 😸

MJ

Your Wendy’s idea is solid. Especially since you have no barriers. I often bought kolaches, her favorite doughnuts or coffee from her favorite coffee shop. Of course I had to buy the whole office enough so it wouldn’t seem I was favoring her. She was always appreciative being a single mother on one income. If you know what she likes for you I think it would be a good ice breaker. Because you can move forward with her unlike I who couldn’t/should have not. Knowing certain things she likes is a good indication to her that you are paying attention to her and taking the time to remember her likes. I don’t think she would be see it any other way than appreciative.

Though if you go to Wendy’s again can you get me a Baconator with jalapeños? Maybe a Frosty lol

@Cordelia,

Thanks again for your response and for the link. I checked it out.
It looks like its something I “could” consider, down the road. I’m seeing that as being a lazy route for me though, because I could see myself starting something like that, and losing interest fast, if I don’t like it.
I’m glad it works for you. Perhaps I’ll have time for it at some point.

I’m glad you have felt compelled enough to be invested in my story.
Your thoughts about her reactions to me seem the most logical, considering where I believe I’m at with her. Although there is no guarantee. At best, her interest might be minimal. But that’s limerent MJ just being wishful. I appreciate your input though. It makes a lot of sense.

I feel like the moments to interact have to be just perfect and if anybody else is around, it will throw me off. A couple times that has happened, where she’s with a friend, or that other guy I know she hangs out with from time to time. Hell, he might even be her SO, for all I know.
I had an opportunity to buy her Wendy’s in the drive-thru, about 2 months ago and I chickened out. Because I guess I thought for whatever reason, she might think it was a charity move on my part and it might piss her off. So I didn’t.
In hindsight though, I should have done it. The timing really was perfect. And it would have been a sweet thing to do for her. But doggonit, I messed up. Not even God could align another more perfect moment for that to happen.

Forgot all this planning and plotting. Just ask the woman to lunch. I had a guy at my former place of employment work ask me to lunch, and I barley knew him. We had barely spoken.
Yes, it was awkward, but a lot of “first dates” are. We got through it.
It doesn’t appear she’s going to make a move. It’s been a year.

MJ

Along the lines of Speedwagon’s concern you can make the compliment more ambiguous by noticing something about her that maybe different. I’ve done it with LO and many female co-workers in my time, because I genuinely noticed it.

Like we were all standing around at the beginning of the day talking and LO said “well I am going to the bathroom I didn’t have time to do my hair this morning before work” to which I said “I couldn’t tell, looks nice to me”. Now granted that might have been the limerence talking but I couldn’t honestly tell. To me it looked like a messy bun.

LO wore her hair in a ponytail a lot because she would wear ballcaps. And often I would tell her how well she rocked a ballcap. Because I like when women wear ballcaps. I watch my wife mow the lawn cause she’ll wear a ballcap with her ponytail through the back. *woos*

Or something you notice that different that she is wearing. LO dressed more casual than it seems your LO does. So usually she wore sandals or tennis shoes. One day she was wearing some mary janes and some slacks (she usually wore jeans) and I immediately noticed it. “Wow LO whose the lucky guy you’re getting dressed up and pretty for?” She told me she had a court date and that she was leaving early from work and she didn’t want to have to go home and change. But she smiled at the compliment and try to play it down.

All those she seemed to take well and didn’t come off overtly. She either just smiled and laughed or said “thank you” to any of them. I think women take it as a compliment when men notice small things that are different about them.