Well said James A.

Thank for making me laugh, especially after I had another nightmare about LO#1. I could feel the pain, agony and all the mixed emotions in that wail.

Why do my subconscious still needs his approval when my waking self is able to say NO to him and the idea of him clearly?

I have an inkling why but it’s still darned annoying to wake up with that. As usual, his beautiful wife and two young daughters are in the dream smiling happily as well, to add a dash of reality to my dreamscape.

Nope, no senting letters to LO here too! That would be darned awkward, despite the possible positive or happy response. Why open up the wounds when you know the scars won’t ever heal?

d e a d s i l i e n c e !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The one time I did this in the age of social media, it cost me my job, of which I am blacklisted from ever returning to, and I never saw or heard from LO ever again.

So, without scrolling down, you probably know what’s comming next. The answer to the question “should you send your LO a letter” is (ALL CAPS RED BOLD UNDERLINED IN THE LARGEST PITCH FONT YOU CAN IMMAGINE is . . . wait for it:

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Hey Tide,
It’s ok to cry too. I do it almost everyday. Limerence can be so very overwhelming.
I hate it. But I love my LO..
That’s how messed up I am..

She blocked me on WhatsApp for my own good, I removed her from Facebook. Horrible! Here we go then again. Day 1

I understand that you’re a very sensitive person in need of love and understanding right now. There are times you’ll feel lonely and abandoned, forsaken, those are the times you feel helpless and weak. You need to cry out as much as you need to, to unburden your pain and sorrows. Cry until you have no more tears. We all go through those awful feelings. You’d get relief until they come back again. Just cry it out! It’s normal and necessary. Have conversations with yourself. Go for long walks to extrovert, join a gym, do things to distract you from ruminating, etc.

Check out this article:

Tips for coping with emotional pain/ Loving roots project by Shelly Sommerfeldt. Hope it helps.

Sending you love and hugs. Take good care of yourself and look for reasons to be grateful.💪🏽💪🏽💪🏽❤️

Don’t want to fight the tide, hi.

You got to deal with this alone or with a good friend /not LO, or a therapist. Disclosing to your wife will only bring more complications and suffering and maybe mistrust from your wife.

Sorry but there’s not an easy way out from limerence. Living a purposeful life will help a great deal to handle it. Think of your future, things you always wanted to do and get busy pursuing your new goals in life…try to improve your relationship with SO first of all.

Keep reading the posts. The following is a good post to read:

Living with Limerence/The death of hope” of December 5, 2020,
Also read the comments.

You got to be strong and it’s not easy. Sorry if I’m too harsh but there’s no other easier solutions that can bring a faster outcome; everyone have tried to go around strict NC only to start all over again and again. Of course you’d probably fail sometimes, but you go back on track until you “get it”. You’ll survive this, you’ll see. How soon? Depends on how purposeful and motivated you’re to get rid of it…

Have a good day and lots of courage .

Thank you for your support 🙂 waiting for bedtime where I can crawl into my separate room from my wife and cry. She doesn’t know would telling her make it easier to cope?

Don’t want to fight the tide ,

Welcome to LwL community.

“I’ve since said I need to heal and cut down our interactions.”

I suppose you mean going No contact, right? And she’s aware of it since you disclosed your feelings to her and she’s willing to help. Also you say you feel this can work if you can heal and treat her as a friend… did I get it right?

I suppose she only wants you as a friend? You seem to have a very good friend here who is worth fighting the tide for…
So going NC is the right direction, it takes time though to sort out your feelings and heal, there will be pain also, but it seems you have no other choice.

You need to read some more of the blogs here which pertain to your case for guidance .Plenty of material here. Specially the No contact ones and LOs as friends, etc. Check out the list.

You’re not alone! Many limerents here with more or less the same problems.

Wishing you luck and courage.

thanks for your response, i got none on a Limerence FB group in 12 hours. While other newcomers got replies in 20 minutes. I do really appreciate it. Things went sour at home before this happened so not surprised this happened TBH, Buniess is failing probably both Limerence and mid-life crisis together…great! Been nearly 2 decades of no sex marriage, surprised it didn’t happen sooner. Still extremely unhappy about it, it was my escape, she was my friend, the literal only thing i had in my life that made me happy, all be it sparodically. I was almost ready to take those highs with all the lows than nothing at all. TBH honest i broke that 5 day this morning at 1am, she put me back on my straight path with brutal honesty. I am honouring her words…. in the vain hope this comes to a mutual friendship eventually. I do think she wants to help me.