*thing

But now I would also love to know which quadrant I fall into

“He gets jealous when you praise other men in what way?”

Purely work. Output… behaviours… normal assessment… he seems to get annoyed – withdrawing for me & getting critical of them. It is subtle but unmistakable. I’ve learnt to calibrate my positive feedback (for other GUYS only) in more measured words.

Thanks for the link Thomas. Good blog post.
I genuinely don’t think he is a narcissist. I suppose jealousy is a natural reaction & does not mean anything. It does fan the flames of my LE with hope tho’.

Sorry Blue Ivy,
But it sounds like he enjoys keeping you on the hook.

What does he get from it? And what business is it of his who you pal around with?

… He gets jealous when you praise other men in what way? They’re physique? Their humour? Their work output?

… And how do you know he’s jealous? How does it play out?

How do you feel when he expresses jealousy?

It certainly sounds similar to what I would expect of a narcissist… And it’s having the desired effect of preventing you focusing on potential alternative interests, romantic or otherwise that might distract from mooning after him.

Not all narcissists look alike.

https://livingwithlimerence.com/narcissist-los/

I’ve met them in a few flavours.

Hence, my unrequested opprobrium. Recently smarting after the return (and abrupt departure) of an LO… just when I thought I was off the hook, too.

Good luck!

Dr L, you should write a case study of LOs that get jealous when you show interest in someone else 🙄.. and thereby derail your recovery!

When I did this quiz my most prominent feeling was realization at the progress! Many questions were like “it would have been a strongly agree (5) but now it is neutral(3) or even disagree(2)”! Ofcourse many still were a 5… it is a sloooow progress. I got 56%

One thing that keeps derailing my coming out of LE is that my LO seems to get jealous when I display any closeness to another guy or praise them strongly. We both work together (LO is my boss) so feedback and evaluating talent is part of work. And we work in teams, collaboration is a part of work too. So closeness to other guys & gals is purely friendship, sibling-banter kind of fun. I’m not being flirty or anything.

He is not a narcissist so the jealousy dies not come from that. He is actually a really sweet, well-liked person. While he’s been a good leader & an advocate for me I’m pretty certain he has no interest in me as a woman. So why does he get jealous then?

The part of me that I want to eviscerate (LE in my brain), rises up from dead with hope when that happens. Ugh.

Limerent Emeritus and Marcia both have great questions to enhance a future survey.

Fingers crossed that it can progress to that!

One possibility is, if you want to focus on only one stage of limerence for the survey, you can include some screening questions at the beginning to filter out the survey takers who are not at the stage you don’t want to include. The drawback is that this could reduce your sample size. But there could be a way to ascertain if the respondent had previously experienced limerence and you could instruct them to answer from the mindset of when they were in the throes of that LE. Of course it would require a little more sophisticated survey design software which can show the respondent different instructions based on their answers to the screening questions.

Another suggestion I thought of was to have screening criteria around people who have multiple small LEs versus rare major LEs. Could be a screening criteria, or maybe just something to split responses by to see if there is a difference between serial limerents and non-serial limerents.