Hi Limerent Emeritus, I’d love to interview you for a story I’m writing on limerence for an international publication. Would you be willing to speak with me?

I will keep these words in heart BECAUSE I specifically prided my “no routine life” it was an excuse to be lazy. I remember the rationalizations before the faintest glimmer, “I’m going to live a lax life, everyday will be a surprisrise, who wants to live a planned life anyway?” An idle mind truly is the devil’s workshop. The problem with this grand master plan is that by highschool already feelings of dread of the future arose, then I met her. My savior, the angel from above. But at the very least, I thank my biblical upbringing in realizing something, I didn’t know what, something was off. We weren’t compatible in the slightest. Which made every year post LE dreadful on the basis she may get married. Especially back then, limerance, was an ever obscure concept to run into, even when you delibritely search for it. So you can imagine a lucky encounter nigh impossible for the unfortunate naive. In-fact, I’ll go ahead and attribute to the fact my interest in theology and psychology to be the top contributing factors that helped filter its obscurity. So it wasn’t all by chance. I thank my father everyday that he encouraged me to read the bible if nothing else. If not obey a single instruction, than simply just that. It’s verses on the “passions” is instrumental in confronting this. The modern man has completely devorced the mysteries that surround himself and the mysteries that are within himself. How could he possibly have any hope of combatting this, how many people’s life have to concretely show the devastation of the abstract process? This stuff is real folks. Atleast it certainly, soon will manifest into reality in the form of: broken homes, divorces, etc. I have no inclination to mock this woman bc let me tell you. I loved my father to death, yet when he passed I still felt not being with this LO to be occupying my mind in competition with the grief I had for my father. Imagine folks. Sincerely, God bless you.

King Solomon said it best: “Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life” (Proverbs 4:23).

A man devoured by limerance, spawned from a line of family that lost everything because of one fickle fleeting passion. His father, a good man, plotted the death of his loyal subject Uria by conveniently placing him in the front lines of battle, just to bed his wife he fell for at a glance. Glimmery isn’t it?

Hi Jay V,

I am new on this site, and actually the same scenario happened to me just recently. My husband left me for his LO with the full blown LE just starting a month when i found out about it. He wants to divorce ASAP, and he is a changed person that I don’t recognize anymore. He fell head over heels in love with his LO.

“the distinction between a potentially healthy love in its honeymoon period and limerence”
If you are in the honeymoon period of a healthy relationship and are limerent for your partner then YIPPEE enjoy it while it lasts! I have experienced a varying degree of limerent feelings early in most relationships… for me, this is what falling in love feels like and it is the best feeling ever.
Are you worried that those feelings might override your sensibilities such that you ignore any relationship red flags? I think there is a blog post about that.

Allie, you are 100% correct SO actions are extremely selfish and in many ways odd. I am not a judge. Who know maybe LO taking advantage of her or influenced the decision. But it’s a same situation or rather similar to the article “when soulmates say NO”. I personally had LE less then 20 years ago and it ended bad for me not LO. I had to pull myself out of it because 8 month into it I could not concentrate on anything other then LO. It was that bad and I ended it right in the middle of LE. I cut all contact, Zero, took me over 2 years to get myself back into good emotional state.

I am so so sorry Jay V, that sounds truly heart-breaking for you and your children!
This may not be what you want to hear but I believe you are being overly generous in justifying your SO’s rash and selfish actions as “an extreme case of limerence”. Many married limerents on this site have suffered equally overpowering feelings for an LO but our response was to seek out a way to understand and manage those feelings in order to avoid hurting the people we most love.

Wow someone written the book about LE, I am living through this right now. My SO of 15 years left for LO. Only took 4-5 weeks from the day they met to Divorce and 3 more weeks till moved out date. Talking to SO is like talking to a 10 year old kid, yet there is so much anger towards me, not even sure where it’s coming from. Even our kid is saying mum is behaving strange. Before mum used to do everything for a kid NOW she does everything for her LO and very little special treatment for a kid. – that’s what a kid said. This is a real Extreme case of Limerence. I am 7 month into this thing, she lives with LO and they make it seem like they been together 20+ years. I don’t know who she is, is she an alien?

I read the very long, two-part Texas Monthly article on this case. They weren’t limerent. She was bored and wanted “fireworks” sex … and he was, well, there. They got to be friends and would sometimes forgo the sex when they met up just to talk. It wasn’t some big, sexy affair.

https://www.chumplady.com/2022/05/hulus-candy-twu-wuv-and-axe-murder/

Of course the “frumpy”, frazzled, abused, depressed mother of two (worried that she may be pregnant with #3) is the villain. Not the person who cheated or the woman who murdered his wife.