” As I learned more about her, I found that she wasn’t all there were some areas in which she knew very little and had an almost childlike naivete. ”

I got interrupted by a call.

” As I learned more about her, I found that she wasn’t all that sophisticated and there were some areas in which she knew very little and had an almost childlike naivete.”

Don’t we all?

I didn’t want to save LO #2. I wanted her to save me. She seemed so worldly and sophisticated. I was willing to go wherever she was willing to take me. As I learned more about her, I found that she wasn’t all there were some areas in which she knew very little and had an almost childlike naivete. I was like, “Really..? If you know that, how can you not know this?”

I got the same vibe from LO #4.

In my response to her goodbye, I told LO #4, “You think by now I would quit relying on other people to save me from myself but, apparently, that hasn’t happened, yet.”

But, I’m getting close!

Yes, great film.

The irony, of course, is that he did want to be saved from himself. He just couldn’t admit it until it was too late.

In fact, isn’t that Tatyana’s last line? “You are too late!”

Also this one (can you tell I’m watching it right now?)
“No, day by day to be with you, follow you everywhere, alive to every smile, each movement of your eyes, to dwell upon you soul’s perfection, listen to your voice and grow faint with yearning. That is bliss and I’m cut off from it. My time is short, each day and hour is precious yet I just drag myself around in boredom. Everyday a desert unless when I wake up I know the day will bring a glimpse of you. If you but knew the flames that burn in me, which I attempt to beat down with my reason, but let it be. I cannot struggle against my feelings anymore, I am entirely in your will.”

Dr. L (or anyone else) have you seen the 1999 film Onegin? It illustrates limerence perfectly to me.

One of the quotes that particularly speaks to me:
“You interpret my heart, my nature, as you wish to believe it. In truth, I have no secret longing to be saved from myself.”

Allie,
“I am curious Marcia.. what was it about that LO that had you spinning? ”
Idk. Isn’t that the way a lot of men experience physical attraction? I don’t mean that the room is spinning … but that it’s pretty immediate? They’re into you or they’re not?
“What it really him, as you did not know him at that point? Or was it something subtle about him (looks, mannerisms, conversation, attire, facial expression, etc) that provoked an internally created perception of him that hit your limerent triggers?”
I guess internally created limerent triggers. He was ok-looking guy but nothing spectacular. But he had no fear. So different than the other guys I went to college with. He had some game. He made it clear he was interested and when I went to his house, we went to his room. No making b.s. conversation for 3 hours in the living room! 🙂 He was also trying to make it as an artist and was very determined and had a strong sense of self. I was intrigued with that. He was so different than my family — get a degree, get a job, get your 20-year-pin.
“Alas, my feelings for someone usually build subconsciously over time ”
Mine actually diminish the more I know someone. The attraction part, anyway. What kept it going with this guy was that it was only sexual. I never really got to know him that well.
And he was the first guy I really liked to have sex with and I was limerent. I wasn’t going to walk away from all that, despite the fact I wanted more from him.

I am curious Marcia.. what was it about that LO that had you spinning? What it really him, as you did not know him at that point? Or was it something subtle about him (looks, mannerisms, conversation, attire, facial expression, etc) that provoked an internally created perception of him that hit your limerent triggers?
I ask as while I have found some guys kinda attractive at first observation, I have never been quickly strongly attracted thus struggle to even imagine feeling that way about a stranger. I rather envy this, would have made meeting guys so much simpler!
Alas, my feelings for someone usually build subconsciously over time as I get to know them, until it suddenly hits me that I love them… my desire then sky-rockets, I fall irreversibly into infatuation and totally lose all ability to have an actual conversation with them… gaah!

The book came out in 1991 and I remember reading an excerpt from it in a magazine. It fascinated me then, and I was about 20.
I’ve never met someone for whom I wanted to blow up and ruin my whole life (which is what the main character does), but I have met people and knew within seconds it was going to lead to sex. One was an LO. The room was practically spinning when I met him. And it was pretty much game on when I went over his house.
But for him I think it was just access to regular, convenient sex that kept it going for months. He didn’t have to keep going out and looking for it. For me, he rocked my world, but it wasn’t mutual.
That’s why the book is fiction … and written by a woman. 🙂

“Damage” came out in January, 1993.

Watching the trailer, I don’t see it as something that would have appealed to me at the time. I’m really sure it wouldn’t have appealed to my then 27 year old wife. My guess is that it still wouldn’t.

I’ve never had that kind of attraction to anyone in RL. However, the thread brought back a memory of a dream I had not all that long after I got married. The dream was about a really intense encounter I had with some woman. I woke up thinking:

“I have no idea of who that woman is but, if I ever encounter her, I’m in big trouble.”

It’s funny what you remember.

But, to date, no encounter.