Do what you gotta do, Dr L. I’ll still come hang out from time to time and see what’s up! And if there’s some way I can help, I’d be glad to.

Sammy,

There’s a blog https://livingwithlimerence.com/update-and-a-little-light-relief/ where we there was no real subject and as long as we stayed in the ballpark/cricket field (?) we were ok. Unfortunately, that one got the attention of a troll and DrL closed it. It was too bad since that’s were we posted the funnier side of limerence.

Maybe he could re-open the comments on that blog.

If you put restrictions on comments that are based on time i.e. not permitting new comments on old articles, then you could minimize the amount of moderation you feel you have to do i.e. making sure people aren’t posting anything inappropriate. It could also keep the focus on your most recent material. 😉

I feel that it’s a shame you’re not getting paid for your writing/sensibility alone…

I agree there are organisational issues with the blog, however, mostly related to relevancy concerns and privacy concerns. In its current state, the blog seems to me to be half-blog and half-social media page, because the community element is so strong thanks to the comments section. However, the contributions of the commentariat are at least part of what gives the blog its vitality.

I understand people might be attracted to the blog for different reasons. Some people might visit out of intellectual curiosity, and only want to read comments strictly related to the articles. They want top-notch content and only top-notch content. Some people might be in a state of considerable personal distress, and be indiscreet about what they say, oversharing personal information. Some people, mainly long-term readers, might be coming back for the sense of community, and frequently go off-topic as a result, without any malign intent.

So its seems to me that the blog has three main functions which aren’t always well-aligned: (1) providing information of a high quality (2) helping people in immediate distress, and (3) creating a space for like-minded folk to congregate.

I don’t know anything about blogging or revenue-raising specifically. However, I think the idea of selecting a body of “foundational articles” and turning off the comments section on these specific articles is an excellent one. I absolutely see the merit in this proposal. The blog needs a shopfront precisely because it attracts so much traffic. And shopfronts should have an aura of professionalism about them. The shopfront should also be something one can show off to representatives of the media comfortably, without feeling like one is betraying anyone’s secrets.

I am not personally bothered by off-topic comments, although I see how they must be irksome to new readers, and metaphorically “clog the drains” of communication. I think people rashly blurting out personal stuff in a public space might be a bigger worry overall. I think any revamp of the blog might need a clearer distinction between “public space” and “private space” so that vulnerable/angry/upset people are not posting stuff they may later regret. Also, as VL notes, posting personal stuff in a public space does leave one open to trolling. I’m thick-skinned myself by nature. What other people say about me doesn’t bother me. But I think most other souls are a little more sensitive.

Here’s a thought, DR.L. Maybe you can make some of your articles free and comment-free i.e. the foundational ones. And maybe people can subscribe or make a contribution to access other articles in your body of work, which are not foundational but still of interest? Kind of how some online newspapers say “sign up/become a member if you want to keep reading”. Maybe there can be a free section and a subscribers-only section? Or a beginner (free) section and an advanced (paid) section? Or maybe you can organise your articles thematically, so people can zero in on topics that interest them e.g. jealousy, monogamy, etc?

I can’t see anything wrong with charging people to read articles written on more offbeat or specialist subjects if you’re providing basic information free of charge and for the public good i.e. the genuine altruism for which INFJs are justly famous. Ads are an interesting idea. But they will certainly change the aesthetics of the blog.

In sum, I’d like to thank you, DR.L, once again for your beautiful writing and for thus far making your insights available free of charge. I feel you have performed an invaluable public service. LwL really is one of the best resources on limerence currently available on the Internet. I have benefited hugely from the site, and found the discussion mostly enjoyable. If nothing else, it’s nice to see that Dorothy Tennov’s legacy is being kept alive. I was saddened to read recently that she’s largely forgotten/neglected nowadays even in her own field (Psychology).

Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain….

I occasionally comment on the public blog for the sake of nostalgia and when I see a particularly interesting post, but another reason why I favour the private discussion forum is because there are fewer trolls on there. Obviously I’m not referring to the regular commenters on here as “trolls” but I have had to deal with some particularly nasty comments on the public blog (usually from self-righteous so-called “chumps” who see every limerent as a cheater). I personally see nothing wrong with ads. I would also support moving most of the discussions to the private forum where maybe Dr. L starts off a thread discussing each week’s blog post. I think slightly more prescriptive guidelines on off-topic discussions might be helpful as a community. There is also a place to discuss off-topic issues on the private forum, and I think that can be a great way to discuss issues that may only be tangentially related to limerence (if at all).

Thanks, Paul. Your and LE’s comments are confirming what I suspected about a Patreon model. Many of the people who urgently need help want to keep their situation private, and don’t want to have to explain a recurring payment. There is an embarrassment factor.

That said, I can see the Patreon (or Substack) model working for those in the “purposeful living” phase of limerence recovery – where the goal is to cement in the gains and transform life.

Ads seems like a good option to try – all the content stays free to access for everyone. There’s just the cost of distraction…

Thanks, Jaideaux!

And you can maintain your mysterious Wizard of Oz-like anonymity.

I do sometimes feel like I’m frantically turning wheels and pressing switches in the background, trying to conjure up something magical 😉

Maybe…

I’ve been here a lot longer than I was expecting. I’m past the point of diminishing returns. I don’t have any more questions. I’ve told my story ad nauseam.

And, honestly, my wife isn’t supportive of my being here. I don’t want explain the bank charge to her. I can see her reading the bank statement…

“What?! I thought you were past all this. Now, I find out you’re actually paying to be there. What’s going on?”

I could slide a one-time payment, especially via PayPal or Patreon past her but monthly, nope.

That’s a conversation I prefer to avoid.

LO #4 set up a dummy company so her clients wouldn’t tip off suspicious SOs. She’s very popular in some circles and not so popular in others.