Diamond thinks people just fall in love sometimes across sexual orientations.

and Adam Bode for an evolutionary explanation https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/psychology/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2023.1176067/full

defenetly ive been feeling this towards someone at first i admired, and i feel weird thinking about him so much, ive had crushes so i thought this was a crush..but im not fantasizing sexual things or even physical touch of any kind, i just feel a big spike of energy when i see LO and whem i think about him it doesnt fit into crush category or even platonic.

Hi Bridgelover, I saw your post when having my first caffeine fix of the day and tried to remember the blog post title to comment later. The comment cycle is so quick here that I really recommend to post on the most recent ‘coffeehouse’ blog to ensure it doesn’t get lost.
Anyway, I found you !! Yey !
Thanks for the update. You sound like you made really good progress since the disclosure. I guess it’s gonna take time to break the brain connections to LO but really great that cycle is less inflamed with desire or romance. Can you maybe find another focal / muse to fulfil that ‘best friend’ need, and not LO. Like upgrading an existing platonic friend to higher status?
I’m trying to do that actually right now. I’m sure you are already assessing all this and I sincerely wish you much happiness in the future

MJ,

“It’s the most perfect lie.”

You bet, but the brain believes everything you tell it. Can’t distinguish between truth and lies. So why not tell it a beautiful lie?

Happy Thanksgiving 🦃!!!

Mata Hari… not.

You made me laugh with LO falling of the chair! Are you sure he was not sleeping? haha. Seriously, communication or rather, the lack of communication has become a pandemic malaise, and it’s universal. We are so busy with so many other things that we disregard our SOs, take them for granted, that they ll always be there for us. They become boring to us and we become boring to them. Everything has an expiration date, and so is the relationship with our partners. Our conversations are of no interest anymore. Nothing new to say, no excitement anymore. We are human beings for ever looking for novelty, that “something “ new to give us inspiration, whatever that might be. We cannot help this instinct; we humans can be boring to others if there’s no thrills in between. What can be done to avoid getting bored with your partner?????

HAPPY THANKSGIVING 🦃!

Haha, my LO once leaned in so intently to listen to something I was saying that he fell out of his chair. He was so embarrassed! Contrast this with my SO who reads intently in bed and probably wouldn’t have looked up if I started belly dancing naked!

I hope you feel better soon, Nisor!

Thank you, Allie. I suppose it’s human of us to want someone to listen and care about us.

Haha, I was actually describing a musical bridge, not a literal one. But thank you for noticing!

I wonder if the limerence will diminish by itself over time now that the romantic part is gone.

Or maybe I will meet someone else who grabs my attention. What has helped me so far is seeing him in person often enough to dislodge the imaginary version from my mind, while also seeing other people so I get more of my social needs met.