I met my LO only 2 weeks(!) after the end of a 5-year relationship. It was unreal..I was destroyed, paralyzed, depressed beyond possible (I thought), and BUM …it only took half an hour with that woman which I just met…all gone. I was high, dizzy, obsessed…her eyes, her smile, her beauty…
It took me 8 months to realize I have a problem, went to NC and then all came back.
I must admit I was aware that this is not possible, I couldn’t switch like that so quickly – but I didn’t care, I needed anesthetic, and I injected it with brute force, like an addict. I also must admit, it helped me in a way. I’m much better now regarding my first break, but man…NC is still hard.

What Allie and JJ say reminds me a bit of Carl Jung’s idea of our disowned selves, when suppressed tend to explode eventually with a vengence. I think people who are purposeful tend to suppress the parts of themselves that are hedonistic, irresponsible and tend to deny themselves short-term pleasure. What then could be more devilish than a full-blown LE?

Same. I’m 3 years into my limerence and it shows no signs of ending. I visit this site when I feel particularly low & hopeless and it always picks me up reading similar experiences. There’s literally nowhere else that properly recognises or helps to relieve the pain of this awful predicament. Huge appreciation to the posters on here & especially to Dr L x

Allie you really hit it with “an LE does not always mean you are lacking” in purposefulness or self-awareness. I was always self-righteous with friends who fell into impulsive romantic/sexual situations, thinking they were bored and if they had my fascinating career or more education or curiosity about the world they’d be stabler and less likely to do things like leave their husbands for randos on the internet. I’ve always been a poster child for a purposeful life. Until my first LE at age 45. And I’m 48 and still not out of it, and struggling badly.

No, not in the general sense that all limerents have an “addictive personality” as people sometimes put it. But, I think that limerence is well described as person addiction – and especially in those cases when limerents are clearly using the limerence for escape.

As Limerent Emeritus points out below, you can get better at managing the limerence and not succumbing so deeply once you understand the triggers (and the neuroscience), but if you embrace it, there is always the risk of getting dependent.

@carried away,

IMO, the answer is “No.” Everyone who is limerent isn’t an addict. I found my last LO very compelling to the extent I got into an EA with her. But, I wasn’t addicted to her.

At what point does compulsive behavior cross the line into addiction? I know enough about compulsive behavior and probability that I tend to avoid casinos. I don’t think I’d become addicted to gambling but I’m pretty sure I’d lose money that I could spend elsewhere.

I don’t think LO #4 could have destroyed my marriage but nothing about the LE/EA was going to make my marriage better and it had the potential to hurt a lot of people.

It took working with a therapist to identify and correct what about LO #4 that I found so compelling. But, it needed to be done.

Wow thanks for sharing your story S. Such a useful lesson to us all. Well done for seeing the truth and taking the best course of action for your wellbeing, it must have been hard to walk away. Wishing you well with your purposeful life.