Comments on: Limerence as an altered state of mind

By: J fresh

J fresh — Sat, 15 Jun 2024 02:00:31 +0000

I met LO during his apartment search when he moved to the city. I work selling apartments and there he was looking for one. I didn’t obsess when I met, I did my job, I didn’t know he was going to alter my entire life. The day he moved in 9 days after we met, we met eye to eye and I was stepped back when we met eyes, I remember it started there. A few interactions with little meaning to him meant everything to me. He was my crush, but during a party, I eat mush and drank and smoked and feel down a deep hole of altered reality hallucinations, where I only thought of him and he consumed my soul and my only mission after that was to make myself worthy enough to be on his side. It’s been years. Very little contact since I’m not his type and he has better options.. but my LO doesn’t know my devotion.. he probably thinks I just like him but if it was only I wouldn’t be on this forum looking for a cure for my madness in obsessional thinking, maladaptive daydreaming and not doing my responsibilities in life… I feel disgusted every day with myself

By: Jeff

Jeff — Fri, 14 Jun 2024 12:58:10 +0000

It’s mind baffling to the spouse (the victim). When they are ALWAYS looking thinking of and finding another LO (another man). I believe it’s called Idealization and Attributions – Object (person) Inconsistency. Better looking more prestigious more rebellious more of something you don’t have. You get fed up and give up. Rules for thee but not for me. They are such hypocrites !!!

By: Natalie

Natalie — Fri, 17 Sep 2021 11:40:54 +0000

In reply to drlimerence. Dr L, Aah. I have one more question. Does limerence alter the perception of time? Because I have had similar experiences.

By: Limerent Emeritus

Limerent Emeritus — Wed, 01 Sep 2021 12:39:06 +0000

In reply to BLE.

Check out https://livingwithlimerence.com/freedom-from-limerence/ and read the comment DrL linked in the first sentence.

You so belong here.

By: BLE

BLE — Wed, 01 Sep 2021 11:44:23 +0000

In reply to Sara.

Hi Sara,
that’s the nature of limerence. Even coming here on LwL, reading about limerence and commenting etc. seems to be compensatory behaviour for me. It still gives me the opportunity to focus on something that has to do with LO and I kind of get my “fix” from it.
Anxiety is hard – hope you are doing ok!

By: Sara

Sara — Wed, 01 Sep 2021 11:31:56 +0000

I feel my Limerence has driven me slightly mad! I do make these connections with anything related to LO. Such as any mention of the town he’s originally from or anything he talked about when I met him. I hardly know him, have been NC for 6 months, but it’s still intense. Other distractions have happened, but they’re only temporary and when I’m talking to other people I wish they were him. Doesn’t help that I’m also dealing with a lot of anxiety at the moment. Seems like a double whammy!

By: Thomas

Thomas — Wed, 01 Sep 2021 00:02:30 +0000

As an aside that image of the shark makes its point very well! Sent a shiver down my spine!

By: Limerent Emeritus

Limerent Emeritus — Mon, 30 Aug 2021 21:11:50 +0000

In reply to drlimerence.

A little Jekyll and Hyde?

https://livingwithlimerence.com/jekyll-and-hyde/

By: Vicarious Limerent

Vicarious Limerent — Mon, 30 Aug 2021 20:45:06 +0000

In reply to drlimerence. I had a similar experience with my LO. I am somewhat liberal politically, but my LO has expressed some pro-conservative views. More than anything, she HATES our current national leader (a liberal politician). I am not a fanboy of his at all and think he has been a disappointment in many ways, but I still think he is the least bad option at the moment. I was actually kind of sad and disappointed when she posted some memes critical of our leader and those who support him, despite my own misgivings about him. It definitely wasn't enough to change my mind about my political orientation. However, I did rationalize it a bit by telling myself I can still be centre-left in my political orientation and not like our current leader, and that on some issues I actually agree with conservatives. I had to remind myself that I have been arguing for less polarization in society and the ability to agree to disagree and engage in rational discourse with one another. Maybe it was enough to moderate my thinking a bit and make me a little more tolerant? If someone I think so highly of thinks this way, then maybe I should be willing to understand that others can feel differently from me and still be good people.

By: Marcia

Marcia — Mon, 30 Aug 2021 02:47:52 +0000

In reply to Natalie. Natalie, He thought the pin was funny (he was a prankster) but he wouldn't wear it. I dared him to walk through the office with it on (the office was very large) with me watching to make sure he kept it on. But that would have required a boldness he did not possess. I thought it could have been a lot of fun.