Ian, did you reach out to her? She needs reciprocation. If she always initiated contact, she would wonder if you liked her or if you were just being polite. If you reached out to her sometimes then she’d know that you liked connecting with her, too.

This was very nice Ian. Very nice writing and explaining your story. Thank you for sharing it.

BUT

I noticed she was trying to draw out. I believe I was a distraction for her. She maybe used me to pass time and she just stopped reaching out. She stopped communicating. I was willing to be with her. I made my intentions known to her but she didn’t want to fight for me in return.
I was young but I believed she actually felt what I felt when we kissed. How wrong I was.

She just keeps communication only when we see briefly and then stops reaching out.

I was a fool to believe she wanted me whereas I was a thing of moment for her. I regret being so emotionally connected to her. But that’s my lesson. I’ve accepted maybe I made things perfect for her in my head.

She always pushed me away but yet I welcomed her in my heart. But that phase died with time.

If this is you too. You would be okay. Just stop painting a vision of them they didn’t earn in your mind.

Would be difficult but you can do it.

Hi Luke, what do you have to lose ? Maybe say you will likely be back in her home town due to work in month xyz. And be great to meet up. See what she says and take it from there. If positive you will need to take a leap of faith to book your trip. Of it feels right and you think about her all the time and no barriers give it a go….. Why not ? Life is short

Thanks for the reply.

I am still single. If I did message her back I’d be worried that I will feel worse than I do now if she’s says she’s in a relationship.

It’s a tricky one.

I would reach out. Say hi.

If your feelings have not gone away after so long, it is worth revisiting. If you are single, check if she still is single, and maybe you can work something out.

Met a girl in Dublin in February this year. I went back to see her a second time from England a month later. Got on so well and I had and still have all the feelings described in this piece.
After the second time we reluctantly agreed to call it a day as the distance between us was too much and she wasn’t prepared to potentially have a long distance relationship.
I believe her that this is the reason and I’m quite sure she had the same or at least similar feelings to what I had and still do have.
I still think about her every day now and it has been 8 months! I think you can class that as an obsession.
I’ve been so tempted to message her since but I know that would be a big mistake as she has probably moved on.
As I said I’m sure she had similar feelings so to know the reason it can’t work is because of distance is incredibly frustrating and dissapointing to me.

At least this article has helped me understand how I’m feeling like this still.

This hits home big time.

Met a girl in Dublin in February this year. I went back to see her a second time from England a month later. Got on so well and I had and still have all the feelings described in this piece.
After the second time we reluctantly agreed to call it a day as the distance between us was too much and she wasn’t prepared to potentially have a long distance relationship.
I believe her that this is the reason and I’m quite sure she had the same or at least similar feelings to what I had and still do have.
I still think about her every day now and it has been 8 months! I think you can class that as an obsession.
I’ve been so tempted to message her since but I know that would be a big mistake as she has probably moved on.
As I said I’m sure she had similar feelings so to know the reason it can’t work is because of distance is incredibly frustrating and dissapointing to me.

At least this article has helped me understand how I’m feeling like this still.

We went for one date, and I got such mixed signals all night. After the date I left feeling completely unsure how it went. Her personality completely jived with me, we laughed, touched, talked a lot. But I still got tiny signals that she wasn’t feeling the spark. After the date she told me she was not sure I was her type but she could consider seeing me again. I realized that above all I had come on too strong and seemed needy and scared her off. We agreed to see each other again. But between these two dates she barely texted me. While she had every day previously. Her distancing prior to the date drove me nuts. But I still managed to keep my head on for the second date. Again we had such a good time, so much fun, same interests. But again she showed signals of staying at a distance.

Three days after that date she writes back that she doesn’t see this going anywhere. I am in complete limerance. I only talked to her for a month. Met her twice and I can’t get her out of my mind. Shake the feeling that I did something on our dates that killed what in my mind could have been. That if I had only done x, things would have worked out.

I’m hooked on the fantasy that she was into me at one point, until she wasn’t. The sense that if I had played the cards just right she would not be gone now. And yet I realize that I have no clue if we would have worked out together. Only that I really really loved to be with her (or did I?) I don’t know anymore.

The combination of her being so into me at first, of not knowing what I did to make her not see a romantic opportunity with me, that she was affectionate and we did have a great time and still we’re done. The hot and cold, mixed signals. So many things conspire to create a perfect storm of obsession. At least understanding the psychology may help me find a way out of this void.