Comments on: The perils of online dating for limerents

By: Paddy

Paddy — Sun, 18 Dec 2022 10:41:23 +0000

Dating app type thing can do this without doubt.

Things went badly sure and this was mostly my fault, and while it wasn’t the decision itself that irked, the way she went about it. Coulda been worse ie ghosting, but hey I’m quite direct.

She took 16 days after the meet to let me know with a mid afternoon message. I made errors with excessive comms but the reasons that she gave were rather vague and sketchy.

Proceeded to ignore my disappointed yet pleasant messages which accepted the decision itself but tried to get expansion on reasoning, blocking me when I called her a gold digger.

She is also deceptive. The whole Open Relationship yet being married, different name on there, pictures that don’t show on Reverse image search. Gotta wonder if it’s a secret profile??

Noticed we were in same FB group, messaged asking for answers and she got pissy, do not contact me again etc.

Quinn if you ever read this, I hate you with a passion. High handed, jumped-up deceptive yet beautiful individual that you are.

By: sil

sil — Sat, 12 Jun 2021 15:45:42 +0000

I went onto a hardcore LE with someone I met on tinder… Thee worst by far that made me realize I had to do something about these repetitive men I chose, the uncertainty etc Dating apps promote all this for sure, so us limerents need to be extra careful

By: Limerent Emeritus

Limerent Emeritus — Thu, 22 Apr 2021 13:27:02 +0000

Clip of the Day: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RMFQl2JZCvc – “Almost Live”

For all you limerents who can’t remember a time without email or cell phones.

The title of this sketch is “Modern Dating.” This sketch was done in the late 80s or early 90s. Email was just becoming available and tech magazines were beginning to talk about “cell phones.” Texting didn’t exist. The reason I got my first answering machine was so I could screen calls from work wanting me to come in early to cover somebody’s shift or work the weekend. The value in screening out cold calls and an ex-girlfriend came later.

At its worst, I had several of these kind of exchanges with LO #4 over email.

By: French lady

French lady — Wed, 14 Apr 2021 12:31:10 +0000

Hello Marcia, I sympathise if this is a lifelong issue , I would feel exactly the same, if I were in your shoes

By: Marcia

Marcia — Wed, 14 Apr 2021 01:18:41 +0000

In reply to French Lady. I'm a lifelong limerent. I have gone from LE to LE. But from your vantage point, having only experienced limerence twice and not looking for anything serious right now .. yes, enjoy limerence in all its delicious sexiness. :)

By: French Lady

French Lady — Tue, 13 Apr 2021 17:40:22 +0000

Thanks Marcia for the feedback, I will let you know if I shall feel that way.. in a few years, if we are still on this site , which I hope not, as this would mean that none of us have ever really moved on :-). For the time being, I am more in a mode, what the heck, I shall be 60 this year, if not now, then surely never. Have met lot’s of nice men on the dating site, but they don’t do it for me. I was married for 30 years, devastated when we split up, and now quite enjoy living on my own. Don’t really want a guy around, I guess full time, been there done that.. In a few years let’s see. At least I feel alive again.. and am for now prepared to pay the price. Have a great evening

By: Scharnhorst

Scharnhorst — Tue, 13 Apr 2021 13:10:03 +0000

Articles of the Day:

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/why-youre-not-married_b_822088

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/why-youre-still-not-married_b_1541011

I thought these were hilarious. But, by then, I’d been married for over 20 years. I don’t think McMillan is up there with Cynthia Heimel but she’s pretty good. If I was still in contact with her, I would have sent them to LO #2. I sent them to LO #4. I don’t think she saw the same amount of humor in them that I did.

I think LO #2 was a #10 of the second blog in spades. But, she couldn’t handle if she found it. She had a pathological aversion to happiness. I got the same vibe from LO #4 but never got close enough to confirm it. But, LO #2 got remarried after 20 years so maybe she learned something. Then, again, McMillan took a few tries.

By: Marcia

Marcia — Tue, 13 Apr 2021 06:03:39 +0000

In reply to French Lady.

French Lady,
“Ladies, so even, if your LO’s are not reciprocal, my question is ? Does that negate the value of what you feel , have felt and how to make peace around those feelings,”
If you had asked me several years ago, I would have said the feeling of limerence was so wonderful and the experience so life-changing, who cared about the negative stuff? But I don’t feel that way anymore. If the person can’t show up in any meaningful way, I’d rather never experience limerence again. The pain far outweighed the good part of it, not to mention the YEARS of wasted time.

By: French Lady

French Lady — Tue, 13 Apr 2021 05:33:33 +0000

Dear Sammy and Marcia, My LO being dismissive avoidant, also toying with with me somewhat , we will never be a real couple. The relationship is thus in my disfavor and I have the “limerent ” syndromes, even if I think he also had or has them. This stems in my case from his intermittent reinforcement and also from
my attachement style which is fearful. My point was more to say yes internet dating can make you addictive create these feelings and also it is my belief that what is called limerence on the site here , really is about what used to be called unrequited love. I am trying to think about if this love addiction. Is it not also not a positive thing despite some nasty side effects ? To be able to feel that intensely ? What if we mostly get it for someone , who would be special for us for real ? I personally am not compatible with many men, have checked this out on the Internet dating site , where I have spoken with lot’s and have met about 15 men. With none of them, bar LO have I felt anything much , even if most them were great guys . Ladies, so even, if your LO’s are not reciprocal, my question is ? Does that negate the value of what you feel , have felt and how to make peace around those feelings, by keeping remembering the good and letting go of the bad such as anxiety depression etc. A happy day to you

By: Marcia

Marcia — Tue, 13 Apr 2021 00:45:26 +0000

In reply to Sammy. Hi Sammy, " I feel I let down two people as a result. " You brought up an interesting point. I think I'm angrier at myself than I am at my LO. The signs that he was going to toy with me and not follow through were all right in front of me within a couple of months of meeting him. And the signs got even more obvious about 8 months in. By 1 1/2 years, he practically dropped a piano on my head ... I can be angry that he continued to heavily flirt with me (and I am), but, at the end of the day, I should have cut my loses after about 2 months and gone NC. Fingers crossed, I won't make the same mistake again. I read this the other day -- Don't invest in people based on how much you like them. Invest in them based on how much they invest in you.