Exactly…we do recognize it and it typically is with an unreliable, unstable LO who we want back more than anything, but we would never knowingly put ourselves through this agony again. It is some type of Imbalance in us triggered by I think traits from the LO, but we are definitely prone.
I have not found a doctor or therapist aware of this syndrome, and it is some kind of syndrome. It is a shame because it is uncanny how all the descriptions are similar and devastating. Probably one of the worst things any of us have gone through.

@James,
Irrelevant in general, or to LOs, or to other people you’re describing limerence to?

‘Getting high’ off talking about LOs. The worst! But yeah… I’m being ignored by LO and just clinging onto the resolve not to try some self defeating attempt at getting his attention. I’m about to go to bed before I embarrass myself. Hope I feel saner in the morning. G-night folks.

So yeah, trying to explain to the uninitiated that limerence is a real thing can be just as difficult as trying to explain other basic truths that they haven’t yet encountered personally; it can make you feel really insignificant, for sure.

He he…I would pay good money to a therapist just to endlessly discuss my LE and LO with me. Reckon there is good money to be made there… a gap in the market… a “Love Therapist”.

Very good point. Aha, perhaps my therapist was trying to “curb my indulgence” and was actually making a purposeful decision to change the subject, instead of just thinking it was unimportant. Maybe I was underestimating her! Oh well, now that I can post on the forum I feel like I hardly need to talk about LO in therapy, although sometimes I feel compelled to anyway, probably just to get the addictive high of talking about him.

That sounds reminiscent of my therapy experience as well. When I would start talking about my LO, I often felt like the therapist was trying to curb my indulgence, nipping it in the bud, so to speak. At the time, I had not heard the term limerence, but I did notice my therapist’s strategy was to make me face reality and ween me off ruminating about LO, which made sense. But at the same time, I felt like the rumination was the only thing that made me feel good when I was otherwise miserable. My therapist asked me to focus on my mood swings (which had never been dramatic before my LE) so that I was more aware when I felt more manic (when thinking or talking to LO) or when I became depressed or desperate (when thinking about reality). I told my therapist that I was worried that something I was writing, inspired by my LO, would get back to them if I published, and the therapist told me not to worry about it. I realized the message here was any kind of relationship was over, which the story-building part of my brain willfully ignored in order to continue being creative. Over the years since I ended my therapy, I’ve realized part of the thrill of writing LO-inspired stories is keeping LO as a character in my mind but also imagining LO reacting to discovering such a story exists and identifying with the character.

…there’s a lot there Sharn, but very much in the vein of some work I did in therapy some years ago now. I’m considering going back.

I like that Jane! Right up there with ‘Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.’

I’ve been a bit miserable rumination today, but tbh I think it’s more work stress expressing itself through LO rumination. I have heaps of stuff and I don’t really want to do any of it! 😀

Wow, that’s all very interesting and inspiring guys. Thank you!