Right on, I’m even much much older!

No, it doesn’t. I’m 64.

Hi Amber, it’s so hard when the boy you like doesn’t seem to like you as much you like him. It can be frustrating when you think about him all the time. I’m sorry you’re going through this. The best way to handle it is to do the right thing no matter how you feel. For example, if it’s time to attend history class and you can’t stop thinking about your LO, go to history class anyway. Do your best to focus on class even though you’re thinking about your LO. It will be hard sometimes, but you can reprogram your brain over time.

You got this, Amber! I believe in you.

Amber, I was limerent for a girl from age 15-18. Then again at 22-25. Then I went 23 years without limerence until about 2 years ago. Good news is, its not something you will always deal with, and you are ahead of the game learning about it now. I wish I knew about it in my teenage years. Give this boy one last good cry and then start working on your self to move on from limerence. Odds are another boy will come along soon to capture your attention but you will be more ready for it emotionally next time.

Hi, Amber,

There have been several people posting on LwL who are in their teens. Go through the old blogs and look for Anonymous Limerent. He was 14 when he started posting.

Adolescence is a tough time and hitting puberty doesn’t make things any easier. Hopefully, you have a good support system to help you.

You will!! I am Middle aged, suffered from loads of crushes in my young life, but found a very loving partner and have a happy marriage. Believe in your worth.

I hope that you find the courage and determination to stop toxic behaviors and do something positive for yourself.

Hi JLo,
This is just my tuppence-worth.
But in my experience, you can have a genuine connection with someone / a life partner while prone to limerence. Knowledge is power. You need to understand your own predisposition towards obsessive tendencies. The fact that the person you latch onto may not be relationally suitable, or worse (e.g. a narcissist). So you need to self reflect on what your limerence avatar is and then watch out when the glimmer sets-in, ensuring that it does not happen for the wrong ‘romantic type’ for you. For instance, lots of people on here look at their personal attachment style and adapt what they are looking for in a partner to that style – so, asking themselves who makes them feel safe in a relationship before diving in. There is every reason to believe that, with self-awareness, you can become more experienced in spotting the correct romantic match and, possibly, becoming limerent for that person. Even if things may get rocky when limerence wears off (as it usually does). Dr L has described how this happened to him, but he and his partner navigated through it.

Some of us believe that limerence is not all bad, but you do need a lot of self awareness and discipline to navigate relationships while prone to limerence.

23 is a great age as you are still adaptible romantically. And you have lots of time to learn. I believe in being optimistic even at middle age. Enjoy every moment 🙂