No idea why, or why the usual filters aren’t catching them, but I’m tired on playing whack-a-mole with them, so I’m going to turn off future comments.

Nothing will come of it… she doesn’t know it was me and I’m not planning on making it a habit. It was just this crazy little rush I had in the moment. Because I am an idiot.

Honestly, I don’t think it will come to much. Saying to someone that they’re pretty in a type of post made to garner those type of comments it’s not make them think that they’re dealing with a crazy stalker. However, if you started making those comments in every post, well….

My last LO didn’t have an Instagram account (yes, I searched, why do you ask?), which all in all is pretty lucky on my part, despite my limerent brain desperately wanting to have a window to LO’s life and a source of distant hits. Completetely get you on the “feeling like after robbing a bank” part: that feeling of doing something crazy and seemingly getting away with it’s very addictive.

LO posted a picture of herself on Instagram. She looked demur. She looked intellectual. She looked hot.

I couldn’t help myself, so I posted a comment on the picture from a fake account. I told LO she’s really pretty. She responded “thanks” with a smiley face.

There was no way she knew it was me. But what if she knew it was me? I haven’t seen her in a year. She would think I was some crazy stalker guy and not just a grown man twice his age with a stupid schoolboy crush.

Anyway, I feel like I just escaped after robbing a bank.

When I was in college, I played Dungeons & Dragons. One of the guys in the group knew Gary Gygax personally. The Saturday session usually went from noon until well into the morning. More than once we watched the sun come up from IHOP.

LO #1 was a local. Her parents lived about 30 miles from school and she’d frequently go home on weekends. One weekend she said she was heading home for the weekend. OK…

Saturday evening, 8-10 of some of the geekiest, late-adolescent, males, me included, are sitting around the DM. I was the only Mage in the group. We were on our way to wherever when LO #1, all 5′-8″ Tall Skinny Blonde’s worth of her in shorts and a halter top, saunters into the room. You could hear a pin drop.

I asked what she was doing here. She said she got bored at home and decided to come back early. She said we should go have a drink. I told her we’d just started the adventure, that I was the only mage, and asked if she could come back in an hour. I was only half-joking, women make up 51% of the population but a good D&D game is hard to find.

She walked over to me. She leaned over and stuck her face about an inch from mine and said, “I’ll make it worth your while.” Without missing a beat, the DM said, “Scharnhorst awakes to find himself back at the inn.”

We left and she made good.

Wow. Impressive way to impress. One thing that makes me laugh now is I tried (in vain) to learn how to play a PlayStation video game they liked. But the last video game I really knew how to play was Missile Command on the Atari 2600. 😂

I went to law school in part to impress a girl, but she wasn’t an LO. It wasn’t the sole factor that sent me there… it was a common path in my career field at the time and some family members did it. But a large part of the motivation was this crush I had on a girl who only wanted to be a lawyer.

I dropped out after 3 semesters. That girl is now one of the most successful lawyers in the area. She is wealthy beyond belief, but she sacrificed her personal relationships to achieve career success. She has two Porsches to go with her huge house on her 6 acres but no family to share any of that with. It’s sad… she was nice, cute, flirtatious, and sometimes I wonder what my life would be like if I kept up the pursuit.

Funny enough, the fact that I dropped out of law school was actually one of the factors that made two employers pick me over other candidates. They liked that I had the ability to take a step back, realize something wasn’t working, and cut my losses and move to something else.

I actually started and completed a Doctorate Degree to impress an LO who had two doctorate degrees. We are in the same office practice but I have been applying super human strength to only interact with him if it is absolutely necessary. Prior to that, I got a Masters Degree to impress another LO who had a doctorate degree. I thought, once I get my Masters/Doctorate degree, they will profess their love for me. I have had it, no more LOs after those two.

Ah yes. The classic unappreciated gift. That is heart-breaking.