I am willing to try most anything Miss Lovisa. Next time I get a chance I will give that a try. If I don’t get any negative feedback I will try again the next chance. Maybe something can be built on it.

Already on the playlist. My folks had that record (or maybe cassette) of their greatest hits and that was one of my favorites of the songs on the album.

“I know when to pull you closer and know when to let you loose.”

I thought I did but here I am right now not knowing what the hell to do.

I love that song.

Yes, I had a wonderful Easter. My knee is healed, no pain at all. I did 14 miles, 7 running and 7 walking. It felt amazing! We did some family stuff and church, of course. The Sunday service was beautiful! My SO has the voice of an angel and he sang with the choir. My daughters sang with the other children. It was just wonderful! I am so grateful for my church.

Adam, I’m curious if you could say something to her about how attractive she is. My SO still looks at me like I’m Christmas morning and he flirts with me all the time. I love it! Can you say something like, “Dang you look good in that tank top! Thanks for the peak.” And then just let it be. Don’t expect a response. What do you think?

I’m glad you’re walking more.

Here’s another one for the playlist:

“Making Love Out Of Nothing At All” – Air Supply (1983)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I2GMf_QmZEw

Written by Jim Steinman. He offered the song to Meatloaf but Meatloaf’s record company refused to pay.

Air Supply did a good job on it but I think Meatloaf would have crushed this.

Yeah music has been a real help in coping. With both my wife and LO. I think until I disclosed to my wife about LO I had a hard time doing that. I felt guilty that I missed LO and the nice relationship we had. I felt like shouldn’t miss her and that I should move on. Music really helped in between the time LO left and I disclosed to my wife. That limbo there where I didn’t want my wife to know what was going on, even when I didn’t know what it was entirely. I just wanted it to go away. Now after disclosure I guess I am openly mourning LO being gone and it shows.

I don’t know if she does or not. She hasn’t said as much but that could very well be a possibility. But I don’t know why she would think that after all this and I am still here. I don’t want what we had with some other woman I want what we had again for the two of us.

I also suspect she looked up LO on social media some time recently. Maybe even before she confronted me about my sleep talking. She made a comment about LO’s appearance and she has never met LO. So I don’t if that diminished her confidence in herself or in my faithfulness to her or both.

She can still get my attention. She was standing in the kitchen sometime after I went to sleep last night and I got up to go to the bathroom. I could hear the dryer running. And see she’s just wearing a tank top. She usually goes around the house in a sweatshirt or hoodie. That’s the most skin I’ve seen in a while *wink wink* But I didn’t bother her (though my thoughts tried to get me to) and went back to bed.

Hope you had a good Easter. I mostly took the time to walk more since it was such nice weather yesterday. More exercise for me!

Happy Easter, Adam!

My SO and I talked about Momma today. My SO admitted that he has a fear that I will leave him. We both wonder if Momma fears that you will leave her.

You didn’t bother me, Adam. I didn’t want to interrupt the flow between you and the others. It was going well.

Thank you for your kind words. I tend to get myself in over my head. My mom was recently diagnosed with dementia so we moved her in with us. I have been taking care of her since October. She began bullying my seven-year-old daughter and it was quite upsetting yesterday. It pushed me to my breaking point. We are sending her to live with one of my brothers where there are only adults to bully. It’s such a weird thing. She wasn’t a bully before the dementia (at least I don’t think she was).

“… clamming up, shutting out myself, and taking the path or least resistance…”. Do you think this habit is contributing to your lack of emotional intimacy? I really don’t know, but I wonder.

That is good news about your weight and the walking. Wow! Keep up the good work, Adam.