Q. What’s the difference between an orchestra and a bull?
A. The ass is the back of the bull

“Sorry, that only works for trombonists.”

Ok, buzzkill…we’ll do it your way.

I can pick up a used trombone on Craigslist for $100. I played cornet in 3rd grade so I can buzz a mouthpiece.

We’ll start with “The Stripper” – David Rose (1962)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hcOtxUrx-ps

Q: What do you throw a drowning oboe player?
A: His case.

Q: Why do oboe players leave their cases on the dashboard?
A: So they can park in handicap spaces.

source: http://www.jokes4us.com/miscellaneousjokes/musicjokes/oboejokes.html

A few more:

Q: What’s the difference between a smashed oboe in the middle of the road and a dead skunk in the middle of the road?
A: Skid marks in front of the skunk.

Q. A conductor has a bad oboe player, a bad trumpet player, and a bad violin player. His gun only has 2 bullets. Who does he shoot?
A: The oboe player. Twice. Just to make sure.

Q: Who does the oboe player date?
A: The viola player but she has to be really desperate.

“My only hope is heading down to the Metro station with a sign, “Will Quit Playing Oboe For Tips.””

Sorry, that only works for trombonists.

Jaideux,

Even after taking lessons for a few years, I’m still not very good. Most HS kids probably play better than I do, although I do a kick-ass intro to Sinatra’s “It Was A Very Good Year.”

My only hope is heading down to the Metro station with a sign, “Will Quit Playing Oboe For Tips.”

Your wife is hilarious and diplomatic!

Jaideux,

That’s two votes for each of us! We’re shoe-ins!

I can’t remember if I was in a Pounde Shoppe when I was in London a few years back. It sounds like fun.

I did stop into the Howarth of London store, though. That cost me $5000. But, it’s a gorgeous oboe. Now, I just need my wife to agree to spring for the $12,000 English Horn. To be fair, she said when I make $12,000 playing the oboe, she’s fine with me spending it on the English Horn.

She has the same philosophy about my golf clubs.

I’ll vote for you LE! I think perhaps I could be a contender for having the pushiest LO.
And methinks limerence for a family member is not so far fetched….most royals used to marry cousins….and I am sure there was limerent drama amongst them too like there is for the rest of us mortals.
The Pound Shoppe does have some nice things I would be happy to be awarded. Let the festivities begin!

In extreme cases, maybe even the Darwin Award…

C’mon, work with me here.

Wouldn’t this be more like the Razzies? Or the wooden spoon award?

Close family friend, sure. I was raised by someone who was not related to me by blood. I had a huge crush on her brother -in-law. Never told anyone. He’d come in the room, and I’d be swooning. I was about 19. He was in his mid-30s. And … here’s a pattern … so flirtatious. 🙂